The Tail Wagging The Dog...

... another of my pet peeves...

Any company or brand expecting you to pay to wear their logos...

Tell me again - why should I do that?

Ought it not to be the other way around, where you pay me to wear, carry, drive your products - seeing I'm a walking advertisement for you???

It used to bug my children that I wouldn't buy branded, labelled products...

They felt left out, when they compared themselves to their peers...

I did occasionally succumb, but to the smallest degree possible...

When my daughters were in primary school, Benetton and Esprit entered the New Zealand clothing market...

My daughters went to a suburban school that had a high socio-economic population and most of their friends were wearing both brands within a matter of weeks of their launch in the country...

Knowing how much peer pressure around body image and popularity affected young girls especially, I gave both girls socks with the Benetton and Esprit brands woven into the tops...

They were so happy; they felt like they were part of the 'in crowd', normal, equals, accepted...

It was a small thing to do to make life a little easier for daughters who have a mother who doesn't fit the mould...

And I had a hard time giving in to the programming, on even that scale...

And this doesn't even address the issues relating to slave labour being employed in Third World countries to make these products and the unholy profits manufacturers are making on the backs of this exploitation...

My mother worked for most of her life in the clothing industry.  I saw how hard she worked and how little she was paid, even in a western factory.   I know the cost of the materials, of marketing and distribution etc...

Why on earth would I want to pay more to be used as a walking billboard to market a label, which, in itself has no substance in reality, is nothing more than an illusion?

 

Either/Or, And/Also...

I think that part of the problem in all of this palaver we have going on in the world,  is that we see "truth" as an EITHER/OR proposition... 

We say:

IF this is true, THEN that must be a lie...

But life is not like that... 

It is possible to have more than one truth exist in the same time and space...

It's called the AND/ALSO paradox...

THIS is true AND this is true ALSO... now what?

Understanding and accepting this leads to expansion, creativity, personal, interpersonal and societal peace...

Holding onto the EITHER/OR duality/false dichotomy leads to contraction, rigid dogma, personal, interpersonal and societal conflict...

WHICH DO YOU CHOOSE?

PEACE OR CONFLICT?

WHAT WITHIN DO YOU NEED TO CHANGE

TO BEGIN LIVING IN PARADOX?

I think we need to go to the place where we accept (not just tolerate) points of view we can't understand or appreciate...

And we sit with that UNTIL some solution presents itself where all is represented/honoured...

In my experience, when I take the time to be with a person/point of view I don't "get", sometimes which "screams" at me internally as being "wrong, wrong, wrong", I find a kernel of understanding we both share...

Sometimes the difference is in something as trivial as terminology...

And finding that commonality is a starting point for dialogue and creating something different...

And I'm not talking about giving in, compromise, rolling over...

From a metaphysical perspective, we are all ONE - we do each carry these differences within each one of us, though we might not be aware/conscious of it...

And once we recognise that, the need to fight it seems to evaporate...

How can we shift others' behaviours to be "accepting"?

 

Well, we encounter our first problem when we think we need to shift others' behaviours... 

 

In thinking we have to shift others' views and behaviours, we are still in the paradigm of making ourselves right, and them wrong...

 

Bucky Fuller said you can't change a broken system; build something new along side it... 

 

I think we need to start out with smaller groups living in acceptance of each other, in the paradox of AND/ALSO...

 

As we show people how it's done, they will come looking for inclusion...

 

Am I...

... a naive visionary, idealist, dreamer unable to accept "reality" and navigate/manage worldly affairs?

 ... a fanatical revolutionary living/dying for the cause?

... a truth-teller, having to live with the consequences of seeing/speaking clearly and directly?

... a writer, driven by an inner compulsion, reduced to starving in the attic for my art?

... a loving, conscientious parent, preparing my child for the changing, new world he will inhabit?

... an irresponsible parent, dragging my child into my illusory world and teaching him my crackpot beliefs?

... a lazy bludger/moocher, full of a sense of entitlement and afraid of hard work?

... a seriously crazy person, living/acting out an elaborate mass hallucination?

... a combination of all of the above?

... none of the above?

Does it matter?

LYRICS:

here's a song from deep in the hole
here's a song from deep in the hole
la la la la la la la la la
something for free something for you
something for me from out of the blue
something is wrong something is right
something has called from out of the night
what does it mean? why do you need to know?
here's a song from deep in the hole
here's a song from deep in the hole
la la la la la la la la la
sick from the sea sick from the air
sick from the view ain't nobody there
just want a taste to feel like i did
the night that you came to the hole where i hid
when they let you down it's all you need to know
here's a song from deep in the hole
here's a song from deep in the hole
la la la la la la la la la

You Do Realise...

... that we are living inside a REVOLUTION, don't you?

Just take some time to give that idea a chance to sink in...

What does that mean for you?

Maybe it would help get some perspective if we looked back at all of the other revolutions and rebellions we have instigated or fought against...

and there are many, many, many of them... see this (not exhaustive) list:

Revolutions & Rebellions Through The Ages

Seems we are a restless, confused, capricious, difficult to please species... 

Well not really; it seems like some of us have a need to be in power and control over the rest, and others of us don't like being dis-empowered and controlled...

So, given that we don't seem to have the knowledge or the will to do things differently, eventually, we fight it out... 

What's different this time?

One thing that is certainly different, is that this time the revolution is global...

AND there is more at stake - the survival of our own and all the other species living on the planet, if not the planet herself...

So, in the first place, do you believe me?  You don't have to take my word for it... open your eyes and ears and your mind... look all around you...

And if you then do agree that we are living inside a REVOLUTION, where do you stand?

For or Against?

And what will you do for or against this REVOLUTION?

Everything?

Something?

Nothing?


LYRICS

History never repeats
I tell myself before I go to sleep
Don't say the words you might regret
I've lost before you know I can't forget

There was a girl I used to know
She dealt my love a savage blow
I was so young, too blind to see
But anyway that's History

(I say) History never repeats
I Tell myself before I go to sleep
Don't say the words you might regret
I've lost before you know I can't forget

You say I always played the fool
I can't go on if that's the rule
Better to jump than hesitate
I need a change and I can't wait

History never repeats
I tell myself before I go to sleep
And there's a light shining in the dark
Leading me on towards a change of heart (ah-ar)

History never repeats (x2)

Deep in the night it's all so clear
I lie awake with great ideas
Lurking about in no-man's land
I think at last I understand

History never repeats
I tell myself before I go to sleep
And there's a light shining in the dark
Leading me on towards a change of heart (ah-ar)
Never repeats (x3)
Hey Hey, Hey... 

Take A Chill Pill, Bill & Jill...

I've noticed that people have been reading the "Plan A" and "Plan A Isn't Going To Plan..." posts...

This message crossed my path today (in the Universe's usual very timely fashion) and I just had to share it!

So many people and situations this advice could apply to...

My own personal life...

The oligarchs...

The Occupy/99% movement...

Humanity...

The planet...

All of Creation!


BUT... and we all know there is always a BUT...

well actually, let me amend that... there are no BUTs, no EITHER/ORs... in this paradoxical paradigm we consider to be our reality, there are only AND/ALSOs... and life changes, opens up once we "get" and accept that...

If I Wasn't A Feminist...

...I'd say (today) that "Life's A Bitch"!

and that's because, while it's Friday and I usually love Fridays, I've got a bad case of the blues...

Maybe it's perimenopause clashing with pre-menstrual tension over the past few days, with a period finally starting today (three months since the last one - too much information???!)... 

Maybe it's the state of the world as it presents itself to me through the lens of the web...

Maybe it's overwhelm at having to adjust to more change, yet again...

Maybe it's fear that I don't yet know how this next change is going to unfold...

Maybe it's because I have conflicting feelings about what I want and where I want to be, and I haven't figured out how to resolve that - no clear path has presented itself yet that would allow the maximum amount of happiness, with the minimum amount of effort, for us all...

Maybe it's the internal critic that's mad at me for creating some of my own problems, and then being so slow to implement solutions that are, in themselves, not difficult...

Maybe it's because I want to forgive my son's father and let go of the past AND I'm still angry and blaming him...

Maybe it's because I'd love to go back to bed with a good book and pretend I have no responsibilities and that life will take care of itself and my child while I read and sleep...

Maybe it's because I'm stuck in a psychological Catch-22 - mad at myself that I won't give myself permission to go back to bed with a book, because that would mean wasting more time, with the mess getting bigger... And at the same time, knowing pretty much for certain that I won't deal with much of what needs dealing with today anyway!

Maybe it's because there's not enough sweetness in my life, and I ate the last bit of chocolate yesterday!

Maybe it's because I don't know if my friends' baby boy has arrived safely in the world - no word since yesterday afternoon...

Maybe it's because the frogs' bowl needs cleaning out...

Maybe it's because our temporary laundry-bedroom is filled with mess and storage boxes that are waiting for me to deal with the "junk in the trunk" of my van... paperwork that needs sorting, filing, shredding... an energy drain that I would rather just dump because most of it has absolutely no relevance for me any more, to the NOW... and all I want to do is live in the NOW... but the 'system', 'society' says we can't just live in the NOW... that the past and future are important... but the past and future DON'T EXIST...

Maybe it's because every day here now, I can feel that our being here is an issue for one member of the household, and the sooner we leave the sooner that person's peace of mind will be restored... so there's pressure to leave, conflicting with internal resistance at yet another change, and the pressure of not feeling 'ready'...

Maybe it's because I'm feeling pressure to get rid of all of our stuff in storage - in some ways, more "junk in the trunk" and an energy and financial drain... and yet I am hanging on to it...

Maybe it's because it's a week or so until school starts, and I don't yet know if or what school I shall send my son to, or whether I can/will follow through with the idea of unschooling him...

Maybe it's because if I do send him to school, he'll need a ridiculously large amount of "school supplies" that will take time, energy and money to acquire, most of which won't really help him "learn" anyway...

Maybe it's the weight of worrying about whether I'm putting in enough time and energy and attention into raising/being present with my child... maybe I should spend the energy I put into social change activities and helping other people into our own/his life...

Maybe it's a combination of happiness, jealousy and envy that one of my friends has just divested herself of most of her belongings and flown off into the sunset for a new adventure;   maybe it's worry for her that when I did the same 7.5 years ago, the adventure proved to be the most difficult journey of my life, to date...

Maybe it's because I feel I need a haircut, but am torn between getting it cut or persevering with growing it longer, and with going back to colour it despite the time, effort and money that would go into keeping that up... GREY is sexy - LIFE is GREY, after all, not black or white, or blue, or brown, or red, or yellow, or green!

Maybe it's because a 5-year old yesterday asked me why I was fat; I told him people come in all shapes and sizes, and I am short and round... He said it was OK, not to worry because I was only medium fat - that a whale was fatter than me!

Maybe, maybe, maybe it's none of these and/also/or a myriad of other things...

Maybe it just is...

PS: and in this very moment of now, my son and I are warm, dry, fed, clothed, clean, housed and in the company of loving human beings... LIFE IS GOOD...

PPS: 11 April 2012... Peri-menopause still sucks!

It's a Wednesday, not a Friday, AND I'm in the same space pretty much as in this post... 

same scenario, different geographic location...

the baby arrived safe and sound...

friend had her adventure in the sun (minus a happy ending) and is on her way back to Seattle...

van still full...

boy not in school...

waiting for judge's decision as to whether I can take boy back to Australia...

AND we are never in the same space...

we are journeying up a spiral...

I am not the same person I was when I wrote this post...

I again have the chance, this time around, to look all about me, up and down, and gain new, deeper, more profound insights...

Nowhere to Run, Nowhere to Hide...

The all-seeing, all-hearing, all-knowing fascist plutarchy... fact or fantasy?

Some Are Born Awake...

Sometimes I envy those born after me... so many seem to be born "awake and aware" and committed from birth to living their truth.

They recognise the BS (bullshit) wherever it exists and appear to be unafraid of calling it for what it is...

It SEEMS to me that for many of my generation (and previous ones), that awakening came later in life and consequently with a more difficult weaning/turning away from the dream/illusion...

The young give me joy, hope and inspiration... I am so proud of them...

LYRICS:

that I would be good even if I did nothing
that I would be good even if I got the thumbs down
that I would be good if I got and stayed sick
that I would be good even if I gained ten pounds

that I would be fine even if I went bankrupt
that I would be good if I lost my hair and my youth
that I would be great if I was no longer queen
that I would be grand if I was not all knowing

that I would be loved even when I numb myself
that I would be good even when I am overwhelmed
that I would be loved even when I was fuming
that I would be good even if I was clingy

that I would be good even if I lost sanity
that I would be good
whether with or without you


LYRICS:

I recommend getting your heart trampled on to anyone
I recommend walking around naked in your living room
Swallow it down (what a jagged little pill)
It feels so good (swimming in your stomach)
Wait until the dust settles

You live you learn
You love you learn
You cry you learn
You lose you learn
You bleed you learn
You scream you learn

I recommend biting off more then you can chew to anyone
I certainly do
I recommend sticking your foot in your mouth at any time
Feel free
Throw it down (the caution blocks you from the wind)
Hold it up (to the rays)
You wait and see when the smoke clears

You live you learn
You love you learn
You cry you learn
You lose you learn
You bleed you learn
You scream you learn

Wear it out (the way a three-year-old would do)
Melt it down (you're gonna have to eventually anyway)
The fire trucks are coming up around the bend

You live you learn
You love you learn
You cry you learn
You lose you learn
You bleed you learn
You scream you learn

You grieve you learn
You choke you learn
You laugh you learn
You choose you learn
You pray you learn
You ask you learn
You live you learn


LYRICS:

Do you derive joy when someone else succeeds?
Do you not play dirty when engaged in competition?
Do you have a big intellectual capacity but know
that it alone does not equate to wisdom?
Do you see everything as an illusion
but enjoy it even though you are not of it?
Are you both masculine and feminine, politically aware, and don't believe in capital punishment?

These are 21 things that I want in a lover
Not necessarily needs but qualities that I prefer

Do you derive joy from diving in and seeing that
loving someone can actually feel like freedom? Are you funny and self-deprecating, like adventure, and have many formed opinions?

These are 21 things that I want in a lover
Not necessarily needs but qualities that I prefer
I figure I can describe it since I have a choice in the matter
These are 21 things I choose to choose in a lover

I'm in no hurry; I could wait forever
I'm in no rush cause I like being solo
There are no worries and certainly no pressure In the meantime I'll live like there's no tomorrow

Are you uninhibited in bed, more than three times a week, up for being experimental?
Are you athletic?
Are you thriving in a job that helps your brother?
Are you not addicted?

These are 21 things that I want in a lover
Not necessarily needs but qualities that I prefer
I figure I can describe it since I have a choice in the matter
These are 21 things I choose to choose in a lover

 

 

I Need...

... another 24 hours in every day...

So much thinking, so much feeling, so much 'knowing', so many insights falling into place, one after another, all branching and connected, connecting my internal and external worlds and needing to write them out of my head... and that takes time...

So very exciting, as though a log jam has just been dynamited and cleared, though I don't know what was the exact moment and means of smashing through the blockage, and it was a lot more subtle than "smashing" anyway!!!

And so much to do to keep this change moving forward...

I either need to stop sleeping, or to reclaim my capacity to stretch 'time' ... 

I need sleep, so will have to stretch 'time' - at least in my reality... 

And that might be a challenge, as 'time' appears to be speeding up and the events occurring within 'time' are more concentrated and intense... 

And that is all as it should be, seeing where our co-created journey is taking us as a species/consciousness and as a planetary being... we're being asked to stretch ourselves, un-limit ourselves, as we birth a new reality...

Namaste...