Birthday Present Registry...

Dear Universe...

you know it's my birthday soon, right?

(AND the boy's birthday 27 days later, right?)...

AND you know it'll be the start of my first adult year (as per the medicine wheel) right? 

Well, all I want for my birthday this year, is a long term HOME (on Vashon) for me and the boy and the cats, with our stuff in it/out of storage, with the means to live there in comfort, with ease, dignity and grace...

We're done with the gypsying - grateful for the experience, thank you...

AND storage fees go up on the 1st July...

AND we have better things to spend our money on...

so, there you go - that's my birthday wish/intention...

AND so it is... Blessings Be... AUM...

PS:
oh, AND an all expenses paid, all needs/desires met, indefinite sojourn on a sunny, sandy beach with shade when and where I want it, would be good about now...

AND you'll have to sort out the visitation/passport/travel issues to make that happen so that the boy can come too...

How about it, Life?

WOW - thanks...

Slaying Dragons - Pity They're Not All As Easy To Vanquish!

My son's 7th birthday cake...

He's currently enamoured of dragons...   Last year it was dinosaurs and the year before Peter Pan and pirates...   I wonder if he's going to be a tilter at windmills and slayer of dragons like his mother?

I hope all his dragons are as peaceable and docile as this one - fierce on the outer and sweet on the inner...

Birthday Revelations: How to Step Out of the Toxic Dance

"There comes a time in life when you walk away from all the people who create pointless drama in your life and surround yourself with people who make you laugh so hard that you forget the bad and focus on the good.    Life is too short to be anything but happy."

Actually, I had the very same thought this morning as I was waking up...

There is a person who will be in my life for a long time (we were the portal/brought a child into the world together) and there is nothing but needless drama in my interactions with this person, drama initiated by his attitudes, choices and actions.

And for many reasons, some to do with my own "story" and some to do with what I thought I understood about our reasons for coming together and walking this path, I thought it was my job to hold the line, enforce boundaries...

And on a psychological level, its been about submission - he not willing to submit to a strong and abusive female, his mother, whom I represent in this dynamic.

And its been a complete energy drain for five years now...

For a long time, I have been asking my version of the Sacred for insight into how to step out of this dance.

And I woke up this morning (great birthday present!) with the determination to just "stop" engaging; put out there what needs to happen with no attachment to, expectation as to the outcome.

There is no win-win in this arena because the mother is dead.   I can't help this man with his woundedness; he's 56 and only he can decide when he's going to finally grow up and stop being a victim/martyr to his past, to his story.

In fighting me at every turn, in attempting to control me, in asserting/exerting his power abusively, he's fighting his mother, hoping one day that in conquering me, he'll conquer her.   The more I engage, the more I feed into and fuel his unfinished, unwinable battle.

So I remove myself, put out there only what really needs to be said/done and refuse to engage...

Let him respond however he chooses (not how I think/feel he ought to respond) and I'll just get on with it - live Life - regardless.

Its his journey, his consequence, his effect, his karma... Its the job of the Sacred now to find the balance... I step out!!!

Wow - what freedom... what a gift... what a way to end my 52nd and start my 53rd year of living!