Divesting Myself Of My Investments...

OK... living in this huge, lavish house for a week has finally cemented the realisation that our "stuff" really is a millstone around our necks in our current circumstances... 

It's costing us our mobility and flexibility, it's costing us money, sitting in storage, and it's costing our friends' energy, taking up space in their homes...

All "stuff" is energy, and while we're holding onto all this stuff, that's energy not available to us to live fully...

And it's creating an energetic block via the conflict between my mixed emotional needs - the need to live very simply and the need to have an outward manifestation of who I am, a reassurance that I exist, and an (illusory) sense of security...

So - I'm selling all the furniture now, except the boy's bed (he isn't ready for that, even though he hasn't slept in it for more than a year now!)... 

If you're in or near Seattle and you want to exchange cash for beautiful things for your space - furniture, rugs, lamps - then let me know; I've posted photos below, of what we have as it was set up in our last home...

I have to do this if we are going to go back to Australia anyway... might as well start now...

And some of you might have thought this was an obvious solution to my lack of cashflow, BUT, it's not so easy to give up what had meant "home" in one sense... besides, I'm a crab, astrologically - I hold on and I go at things sideways!...

I remember my parents coming with me and my sister from Holland to New Zealand, with all of their lives contained in four wooden tea-chests... and how they worked hard and played by the rules to make a home for us all - and what a toll that took on an already dysfunctional relationship (as it's doing in this family we are staying with)... and how each of them died "owning" a modest amount of "stuff", still paying mortgages, sick and lonely and unhappy...

And I remember 20 years' as a military wife, moving every 9-24 months, just when I had gotten our houses - both rental and owned - looking/feeling like a home...

And I remember coming to the US with the boy, with 46 years' of my life, and 8 months' of his, all contained in 24 boxes...

And I remember creating the home you see here in these photos for me and the boy - the only home we have had in the past 10 years...

And some might think that this is the last of the slide into the gutter, and marks us out as failures in life...

But why shouldn't this be happening to us?   What makes us so special?

People all over this planet have been having to make this choice over the past several millenia.. 

More and more people are facing this reality daily in the "west", and even in these circumstances, we have much more than billions of others on the planet...

And I look at how people in this house are doing life - despite the fact that both adults are working and making good money, they're only holding onto all their beautiful stuff by the skin of their teeth, and I know that we're all going to have to go there, in one form or another, because this way of living on this planet cannot go on... 

And a Facebook friend commented that nomadic life may be the way of the future as we try to avoid flood and storms and drought.   If we work on it now, we may be able to do it well.

As I tell the boy, just as always in my life, we're living ahead of the curve, riding the front edge of the wave...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

How Low Can You Go?

I'm asking for prayers and good vibes... 

Son's father is fighting our proposed move to Australia in court... not only that, but he wants custody of him, claiming I am an unfit mother...

This from the man who has been kicked off five different domestic violence perpetrator programmes in five years... whose visitation access to our son is determined by how much progress he is making on said programmes...

And he's playing really, really dirty - I can't even read the court documents he filed in their entirety yet, they are so horrible...

I picked up the documents this evening - they were improperly served at the previous house we had lived in...

And leaving the house, the car in front of me had a bumper sticker in Yiddish, with English translation... it said "Have courage, be strong"... I hadn't even read the documents yet!!!

I  need to focus on filing a response to this crap - one of the hearings is on the 28th, I think, and I have 20 days to reply to the other motion he filed... and I have to file a request for the renewal of the Protection Order this week...

It's kinda hard to do the forgiveness thing when, just when I think I am there, more of this crap comes - but I guess that's the challenge...

And after tomorrow, I don't know where we'll be living.... the boy and I, two cats and some of our "stuff"... and our van with the window that was shot out September 2010 that's still covered in clear plastic sheeting and dragon-patterned duct tape!

The rent for the week-to-week motel we're staying at was due three days ago - the landlord is asking for it...

Son's dad owes me $1,500 and two clients owe me around $3,000; have been asking for them to cough up - no reply yet...  

I guess I now understand something about what life was like for the people who went through the Great Depression and World War 2... 

Though I still probably haven't got a clue what life is like for the millions in the third world, starving to death...

Well - I guess this all goes on tomorrow's agenda...

I have just enough gas left to get to my therapy appointment (lovely women who doesn't ask me to front up with the co-pays!); will use the hour with her to get my head around all of this...

PS:   As above, so below, as within, so without... the macro reflects the micro and vice versa...

It's 11.30pm Pacific Time here in Seattle, and I am watching the New York Police Department completely destroy the OccupyWallStreet camp... pepper spraying, hurting, arresting protestors and trashing absolutely everything...

It seems to me to be synchronistic that I got those horrible, hurting, trashing documents tonight and that we are facing homelessness tomorrow, in the same manner as OccupyWallStreet - which is standing up to governmental and corporate abuse - is being attacked/evicted by police...

As a Facebook friend said: "the empathic principal in action... seems to me that the line being drawn is spreading like wildfire... much violence is up, which is the sign of weakness and fear...sigh"...

The American Dream Is Really A Fantasy...

More on the scam and how we saps have been conned...

And our children have no future except as slaves...