Plan "A" Isn't Going To Plan & Plan "B" Is Nowhere To Be Seen!

I've noticed that a lot of people have been checking the post titled "Plan A"...

Plan A

And I notice Plan A was written 9 months ago, today!!!

9 months' gestation and what do I have to show for the pregnancy?

Definitely not the "baby" Plan A was intended to give birth to!

What have I/we been doing?

• Turned 53 and boy turned 8; girls turned 31 and 29 respectively

• Moved house again TWICE with a third move coming up ASAP

First move (March) was necessary because things were not going well in the house-sharing situation, due to conflict and senior house-mate being diagnosed with terminal cancer and dying (written about here and here)!

Lucky enough to immediately score a house-sitting gig for four months... 

Owners of first house came back for the summer, which made a second move necessary...

Second move (July) we were trial-running the idea of co-housing/intentional community...

Three adults, three boy children (aged 5, 7 and 8), three cats, three hens, one rooster and two frogs (now deceased!) all sharing a three bedroom house...

Interesting experience... can't give it a "quality" label - it just is...

Seeing an only child mix with two siblings who are very different in energy and temperament...

Experiencing two women, separated in age by a whole generation, sharing a kitchen and laundry and child care/supervision...

Watching house cat and interlopers dance/skirmish around territory issues (like the two women and the children)...

Watching the male adult act as go-between in the dynamic...

Finally having a discussion about where everyone's at, and acknowledging that one of the women needs her own space and family's privacy back... 

So we need to find somewhere else to be while we figure out whether to stay here or go back to Australia...

Will be fourth move in a year - hence very little excitement and enthusiasm!

• Won a 3-day, 2-night sail on a Tall Ship - the Adventuress - out of Friday Harbour in the San Juans - a late birthday gift for the boy, who wouldn't admit he was having fun until the second day, and when he's mad at me, still says it was a horrible experience ... I thought it was great!   Seven years in the US and we haven't been to the islands nor more than about 100 miles in any direction from Seattle... 

• Two days into the new school year, took boy out of school and we are now "unschooling"... 

Four things happened in those two days that convinced me that what I had been contemplating for the past couple of years was the right thing to do... 

Boy much happier, doesn't miss it, starting to get some initiative happening over what he wants to do, friends say they've never seen him so relaxed and outgoing...

I need to fine-tune how I do my day, so that I give him more time and attention and we do more things together...

• Spent most of the past 9 months working on social justice/change issues... been quite successful, judging by some of the response:

• Was offered a job as campaign manager for someone wanting to be elected to the local school board...

Thought it would be cool and fun and easy (using all my skills) and worthwhile...

Schoolhouse - OUR House:

Learning Together in Truth, Trust and Transparency

Three weeks later (this week) - fired myself...

Here's why:

"Hi M....

I've been sitting on this for a while and today is the day I had to make a choice...

I'm sorry, but I can't work on this campaign after all (and it's very hard to say that, given that I like you, I want S out of the District AND we really, really NEED the money, especially now)...

I haven't been able to do my best work for you, apart from coming up with your mission/value tagline and starting on your social media stuff...

None of this work should be a big deal for me, but it has been...

I have been trying to figure out why over the past week...

First I thought I was pissy because there were too many fingers in the pie and it's all very disorganised and its so hard to get to any outcomes

Then I thought it was because I was feeling like you couldn't let go and let me do my job and you were not listening to/accepting my expertise

Then I thought that me being a paid employee was getting in the way - I don't do well in hierarchies where my 3D/financial survival depends on me doing what I am told/delivering an agreed outcome...

But none of that is true, because I have delivered amazing work for clients/employers under all of these conditions...

Then I thought it was me being lazy and wanting money for nothing(!!!) and/or that I was too overwhelmed with my own stuff to have any energy left over for this project...

Today, I finally realised that I can't/won't do this work because it still perpetuates the current system operating in the world, and I am now so completely un-aligned with that, that it pains me to even try to work for/in this paradigm...

I have taken C out of school because I disagree what our education system does to our kids... and yet in helping you, I am helping to perpetuate that system...   You and the other Board members might make things better than they are now, but you will not fundamentally change how we treat children and how we prepare them for life...

Buckminster Fuller said you cant fix a system by changing it... that you have to create a system that runs alongside it that will gradually overtake/replace the obsolete system...

I need to be working to pull down the old and build something completely new, as the Wall Street Occupiers are doing - working in a completely different paradigm...

I am sorry for any inconvenience and disruption my decision causes, and if this leaves you feeling abandoned...

I will call you tomorrow morning (Friday) to give us both a chance to get to closure on this...

Thanks for giving me the chance to clarify even further where I need to be putting my energies...

Namaste

Sahila

• Still doing the dance with boy's father over money (father not paying) and visitation (boy won't go) - seriously not fun

• Still having issues with procrastination/lack of motivation, feelings of overwhelm and not knowing what to do for the best - trying to live Rainer Maria Rilke's advice about living our way to the answers

So - there you have it... an abbreviated recap of a rich, intense, full journey and not one step closer to being back in Australia...

Learning, growing, maybe becoming wiser...

LYRICS:

Daylight
See the dew on the sunflower
And a rose that is fading
Roses whither away
Like the sunflower
I yearn to turn my face to the dawn
I am waiting for the day . . .

Midnight
Not a sound from the pavement
Has the moon lost her memory?
She is smiling alone
In the lamplight
The withered leaves collect at my feet
And the wind begins to moan

Memory
All alone in the moonlight
I can smile at the old days
I was beautiful then
I remember the time I knew what happiness was
Let the memory live again

Every streetlamp
Seems to beat a fatalistic warning
Someone mutters
And the streetlamp gutters
And soon it will be morning

Daylight
I must wait for the sunrise
I must think of a new life
And I musn't give in
When the dawn comes
Tonight will be a memory too
And a new day will begin

Burnt out ends of smoky days
The stale cold smell of morning
The streetlamp dies, another night is over
Another day is dawning

Touch me
It's so easy to leave me
All alone with the memory
Of my days in the sun
If you touch me
You'll understand what happiness is

Look
A new day has begun

What's next Universe, seeing I don't have a Plan B?

Opting Out - At Least In One Small Way...

First day of school for son (8, 3rd grade), yesterday...

He didn't want to go... nothing's changed over summer and we had the usual tears and pleading and having to be pried from me at the classroom door...

Horrified to find the flag flying in the classroom, with a copy of the Pledge of Allegiance pinned underneath it... 

My son has four nationalities and I don't want him brainwashed to be loyal to any one country, any one philosophy, any one culture, any one religion, any one ethnic or social group...

He's a citizen of the world, and I've already written a post about my beliefs around flags, borders, anthems and patriotism:

A World Without Flags, Borders and Anthems

And then, a notice came home in the afternoon, saying that the first 10 days of school would be taken up with testing, testing and more testing...

And son had a temper tantrum last night, which in the end, was the releasing of pent-up tension and unhappiness about his day at school, where all of his security references/ties have been taken away from him... 

He said his day had no "roses", just all "thorns" and that after the initial greeting 'circle up' and warm-up game, it was all boring...

What more information do I need to legitimise my almost-made decision to take him out of school and "unschool" him?

This morning I sent this letter to the school/district, son is staying home and I need to finally reconcile my ambivalence about "formal" education...

Sent 13 September 2011, Shoreline School District, Washington

Dear Shereen, Trinh and Superintendent Walker...

I, Sahila ChangeBringer, hereby exercise my parental rights under the 14th Amendment of the Constitution to withdraw my son "C" from any and all forms of standardised testing conducted at Room Nine and within the Shoreline School District.

The Supreme Court has repeatedly held that parents posses the “fundamental right” to “direct the upbringing and education of their children.” Furthermore, the Court declared that “the child is not the mere creature of the State: those who nurture him and direct his destiny have the right coupled with the high duty to recognize and prepare him for additional obligations.” (Pierce v. Society of Sisters, 268 U.S. 510, 534-35) The Supreme Court criticized a state legislature for trying to interfere “with the power of parents to control the education of their own.” (Meyer v. Nebraska, 262 U.S. 390, 402.) In Meyer, the Supreme Court held that the right of parents to raise their children free from unreasonable state interferences is one of the unwritten "liberties" protected by the Due Process Clause of the Fourteenth Amendment. (262 U.S. 399).

In recognition of both the right and responsibility of parents to control their children’s education, the Court has stated:

“It is cardinal with us that the custody, care and nurture of the child reside first in the parents, whose primary function and freedom include preparation for the obligations the State can neither supply nor hinder.” (Prince v.Massachusetts, 321 U.S. 158)

C is not permitted to take the test during mandated testing days nor during designated make-up sessions.

Additionally, I am requesting that the school make accommodations for meaningful alternative activities or assignments that will continue to promote his academic and intellectual growth.

C will not be in attendance if academically viable alternatives are not available.

Furthermore, I must be guaranteed in writing that whatever option is taken, either alternative assignments or absence, my child will not face any negative consequences to, for example, course grades, social or behavioral evaluations, workload, promotion, or future classroom assignments.

Furthermore, I ask that no record of this testing be part of C's permanent file, as I do not wish him to participate in standardised achievement testing for promotion, graduation, or school/state report cards.

Strict adherence to state and Federal high-stakes standardised testing, including the extensive classroom preparation that occurs prior to test administration, prevents my student from receiving a well-rounded and engaging educational experience.

Additionally, it:

•Is not scientifically-based and fails to follow the U.S. Government’s own data on learning

•Fosters test driven education that is not meeting the individual/intellectual needs of students

•Presents a racial and economic bias that is beneficial to white middle/upper class students and detrimental to second language students, impoverished students, and students of colour

•Violates the United States Constitution’s ESEA Fiscal Fairness Act

•Supports complicity of corporate interests rather than democracy based on public concerns

•Fosters coercion over cooperation with regards to federal funding for public education

•Promotes a culture of lying, cheating, and exploitation within the school community

•Has used the achievement gap to foster a “de facto” segregation that has resulted in separate and unequal education for minorities

I do apologize in advance for the inconvenience or scrutiny that this decision may cause the administration, the school, and staff.

Sincerely,

Sahila ChangeBringer

parent...

This Is Where The Slavery Starts...

Brainwashed to obey...

Is this what we want for our children and the future?

I don't...