There's something to be said for Kitchen Table Wisdom - you know, like in the old days when people sat around the kitchen table after a meal and talked about life, the universe and the meaning of it all - as well as the gossip doing the rounds in town...

Well, that's what this place is - a place to share common wisdom, thoughts and feelings about things important and unimportant, that bring us joy, laughter and happiness and that trouble, sadden, confuse and anger us ...

What I write here is what's 'real' for me. It won't always be PC or 'nice'. We're missing out on true connection and chances to grow and change because there's too little authenticity, too little honesty, too much holding back what we really feel and mean.

Welcome to my world...

I used to have a copyright claim here, but I've removed it...

Ideas don't belong to anyone -

they come to those who are receptive and are to be used for the well being of all...

I find images and movies and music all over the web

and I use them to accent/expand on my thoughts and understandings...


If you feel you have experienced or received something of value in reading my posts,

please consider either:

Giving a Koha/Love Offering Here - Donate with WePay

or paying it forward to those who need

material and emotional/spiritual sustenance in this world...


Thank You


As You Think, So It Is - Your Beliefs Create Your Reality

If your Reality isn't Working for You, Create a New One!

Life Unlimited!


Namaste

(the Divine in me, recognises and honours the Divine in you)

Sahila




Showing posts with label change. Show all posts
Showing posts with label change. Show all posts

Wednesday, July 11, 2012

Closing Doors...




I've made the decision to step away from public education advocacy...
 
After four years of almost full-time focus on what's been happening in Seattle and nationally...
 
I like to think that I've had some small effect in slowing down the implementation of the ed deform agenda - at the very least, in WITNESSING it, declaring to the oligarchs: "I know what you're doing, it's not OK and you're not doing it in my name - or my son's!"

I'm driven by a sense of urgency not many other people have...
 
And I've been pushing and pushing against ed deform, pushing for people, especially teachers to wake up, stand up, step up, break free...
 
 
 
 
 
and on Twitter and all over the web and at rallies and school board meetings and in newspapers...
 
got lots of defensiveness back from both parents and teachers, coming out of fear I know...
 
I'm having trouble dealing with my frustration at what I see as teachers' reluctance to accept the reality, the urgency and to step up and do what's required to effectively push back against ed deform... 
 
Ed deform hurts children, abuses children, stunts their beings, uses them as cash cows...
 
And from my perspective, teachers, by continuing to implement ed deform, are complicit in that child abuse...
 
AND I do appreciate what it is they especially have to lose if they get serious about standing in front of the bulldozer of the corporate rape and pillaging of public education...
 
 
AND at some point, we each have to say "I'm as mad as hell and I'm not going to take it any more"...
 
 
I can't keep working in this arena with this degree of frustration, so I'm stepping away...

I have taken the boy out of the education system altogether and we shall focus on educating for and living life in as wholistic a fashion as we can possibly manage...

I wish we could do that for, and with, all children...
 
And so, we go on...
 
 
 
 
 

Wednesday, June 20, 2012

Summer Solstice 2012...


... lots been churning, burning, inside myself over the past weeks and months - half a dozen 'works-in-progress' posts sitting in the draft queue...

and none of it is ready to be put out into the world yet...

so, I shall communicate what I can...

AND wish you all a happy, happy solstice - may the sun bring us all sanity, peace and joy as we celebrate the longest day and move into summer here in the northern hemisphere...

  
and for my children moving into the dark of winter in the antipodes, I say: "I love you and I miss you, as does the boy..."






Namaste


Friday, June 15, 2012

Paradoxes...




and the question is, how long can we keep this going?

LYRICS:

Welcome to your life
There's no turning back
Even while sleep
We will find you
Acting on your best behaviour
Turn your back on mother nature
Everybody wants to rule the world
It's my own design
It's my own remorse
Help me to decide
Help make the most
Of freedom and of pleasure
Nothing ever lasts forever
Everybody wants to rule the world
There's a room where the light won't find you
Holding hands while the walls come tumbling down
When they do I'll be right behind you
So glad we've almost made it
So sad they had to fade it
Everybody wants to rule the world
I can't stand this indecision
Married with a lack of vision
Everybody wants to rule the world
Say that you'll never never never need it
One headline why believe it ?
Everybody wants to rule the world
All for freedom and for pleasure
Nothing ever lasts forever
Everybody wants to rule the world 



IF we don't like what we are experiencing...

THEN we need to change - ourselves ...

AND in the changing of ourselves, the experience will change...


 

SO...

WHAT, AND WHEN, WILL YOU CHANGE?



Friday, June 1, 2012

T Minus 8 Hours & Counting...

OK Life, Universe, the Meaning of It All...
TODAY, before 5pm, would be a good time for the next step to show up...
Man of the house has just reminded me that today's the day we agreed boy and I would leave by, and said that if I didn't follow through by 5pm, there will be an "ugly scene" and "consequences"...
$$$$$ and next shelter required NOW...
I know there are millions in the same or worse boats AND...
AND I will not cry and panic in front of the boy...
Change of scenery will be good and distance is the great refresher...
Where is that 'change-of-scene' place and how to get there by 5pm today?
$3.00 in the bank, boy, 2 cats, two van-fulls worth of stuff, no gas in the van...
My brain so fried.... stay out of victim mode.... stay open for/to what's coming...
AND I'm not angry at him...
We have had a long time here and he and his wife have been very generous and accepting...
AND he and she have their own dance to work out in this...
AND we did have an agreement...
AND I have been making choices/holding out for something he has a judgement about, in that he thinks beggars ought not to be choosers...
AND and I see and accept that from him, seeing it's his (and his wife's) energy that has sheltered and fed us...
AND I HAVE contributed to the household (sharing what I have had in cash/food AND mostly in ways he doesn't recognise and value)...
AND he has a son he can't influence to make better choices...
AND he can't/won't put the hard word on his son's friend's who have crashed here long term...
AND he's worried about his job security and his wife changing jobs...
AND they have their own money worries...
AND I have been dragging my feet in dealing with having to take the next step - fear, overwhelm, confusion, burn-out, inner-child fear, hurt, anger and stubbornness, wanting to hide, wanting to be rescued...
AND this is wrapped up in my stuff around getting boy's father to honour and respect me and to show that by supporting me in raising the boy, to stop playing the power-and-control with-holding money and resources game...
AND he doesn't/won't realise that he's hurting his own son in this...
AND this must be what my mother faced/felt as she slowly killed herself through overwork walking this path, raising my sister and me through our teenage years without our father meeting any of his parental obligations, taking whatever low-paid menial work she could get to keep a roof over our heads, food on the table, clothes on our backs...
AND she died when she was 60, sick and sore, still working her arse off to pay a mortgage on a tiny home that reminded her of the houses in Holland...
AND I'm almost 54 and have turned my back on realities (relationships, life paths) in which I/we had secure housing and our physical needs met...
AND boy's father hasn't healed from his relationship with his (now dead) abusive mother...
... just as my father never healed from his relationship with his abusive mother... 
... ... just as the husband in this house hasn't healed from his dysfunctional relationship with his mother...
... ... ... just as the boy's father's lawyer hasn't healed from his dysfunctional relationship with his mother - he barked at me in court that "you're just like my mother"...
AND, AND, AND...
 

Monday, May 14, 2012

Get This Baby Born Already...


Dear Universe - I know it's just my own emotional roller coaster I'm riding and it's up to me how long and how far I want to ride it...

 

AND now would be a good time to bring some uplifting material and metaphysical goodies into my realm!

It's Monday and I STILL don't like Mondays - even though it's another gorgeous day, the sun is shining, we're fed, clothed and housed, with loving, caring people in our lives!

(What is it I'm bitching about, again?)!...

It's just a morning of weary, wary heaviness as I'm so aware the next step needs to be taken soon, and I don't know where/what it will be yet...

So many of us are feeling this...

So much to do, I have done/can/am willing to do...

And the (metaphorical) harvest is late - all of that activity, energy, commitment  hasn't brought in anything we can live off, at least in the "traditional" sense...

The only thing that comes to mind is that we - individually and collectively - are in the middle of a long, hard birthing process, the outcome of which - a safe, healthy, delivery - is not yet assured...






Something IS being born - we just are not sure what...


AND in the grand scheme of LIFE, there is no right/wrong, good/bad about what will emerge from the birth canal...

The only thing that is true is that we can't go back...

In the meantime, just as in labour, we have to go with the process because we have no control...


We can't stop it, or make it go faster without endangering mother and child...
 

 
LYRICS:
You've bags under your eyes
You've got boobs to your knees
Your hand's full of poo and your bra's full of cheese
Your stomach is bloated your clothes do not fit
He still wants sex while you feel like shit
He begs for this favour not long after labour
It's like eating a meal after you've just been sick

And the boys at the office tell him I should give him what he wants
To this I say that they're a bunch of lalalalalalala

You bastard you cocked up it's you got me knocked up
Just cos you want me to have bigger tits
You're pleading, you're pining
Oh please stop your whining
You're not getting sex 'til the kid's 26

You say you want another child, another pregnancy
When you can poo a watermelon I'll agree

I could have been someone if you just hadn't come (along)
If I hadn't been so drunk and I'd said maybe
We'd be going out and stuff, now there's forceps up my chuff
Pulling the head of a screaming 10lb baby

And the mums on Hornby Island* say keep breast feeding 'til they're four
If I do I won't have nipples anymore

And all the doctors told me that I'd need a stitch or ten
I say sew me up so I can't do this again.

*an island nearby with a reputation for being very wholesome!
 

Tuesday, April 24, 2012

Damned If I Do...


... damned if I don't...

How to get from here...


Right at this moment, I feel we are a mess, as a species...

Daily, in every place I look, I see/hear/feel a harsh, cruel darkness descending on us...

We've been in this place before, I know...

We could be excused for that in the Middle Ages and even up to the beginning of the Industrial Revolution, because it could be argued that we didn't know any better and/also didn't have the technology to do better, for the planet, for our fellow beings on the planet, for our fellow humans...

But that excuse is no longer valid...

So now we are in the midst of a final struggle, where we either commit, finally, to doing what we know is healthy for all life on the planet, or we drag much of life with us into a body and soul-killing blackness, from which we might never emerge...

I want to turn my back on it all and just do the best I can with what I have for me and the boy - AND - at the same time, that feels like collusion, collaboration - being like the Germans who knew what was going on under Hitler and turned their heads and hearts away...

And this time, it's a global issue, occurring on the environmental, economic, political, social, psychological, spiritual levels, all at once...

How to keep holding the space, doing what I can to push back against the blackness, make space for more light to come in, and stay present for the boy, stay sane, clear, tranquil, take care of our physical, emotional, spiritual needs?



... to here:


"The tranquil clarity, which is devoid of mental turmoil, alone is the samadhi which is the firm base for liberation.

By earnestly trying to destroy the deceptive mental turmoil, experience that samadhi as the peaceful consciousness which is inner clarity.

In yoga the term samadhi refers to some kind of trance and there are various kinds of samadhi.

But the samadhi I speak of is different.

It is sahaja samadhi.

From here you have samadhana [steadiness] and you remain calm and composed even while you are active. 

You realize that you are moved by the deeper real Self within.

You have no worries, no anxieties, no cares, for you come to realize that there is nothing belonging to you.

You know that everything is done by something with which you are in conscious union."
~Ramana Maharshi




I obviously haven't reached that state yet!

I get to it sometimes, for several moment, hours, a day even...

AND more often than not, I am so tired and depressed watching this train wreck happening all around me on so many levels, in so many arenas...

I've been thinking along several lines...

One is the concept of non-attachment which I think is related to sahaja samadhi, and I'll write about that in another post...

The other is the realisation that life in this reality IS about movement and change and our own participation, responsibility in that...

AND that I'm not sure anything in our current model can be saved...


Bucky Fuller said you cant fix a broken system - that you have to create something new alongside it... 

And who was it that said that you can't find solutions using the same thought processes that created the problems in the first place?

One idea that's been percolating in my thoughts has been that of using the Dual Power Strategy to move from here to there...

"Dual power is a method of struggle for the revolutionary transformation of society.    It presupposes a pre-existing, fundamentally flawed social order.
 
Within that society, those who envision a different future create alternative institutions (AIs) that embody their vision.
 
AIs are places for experimentation with new social forms as well as places for liberation for those who are oppressed within the larger society.   As AIs spread and diversify, they take on more and more of the functions of a larger social system: creating over time an "alternative social infrastructure" that fulfills economic, political, social, and cultural needs.   In addition to their direct functions, AIs demonstrate the viability of new ways of organizing society, and attract interest to the ideals behind them.

As the ideological monopoly of dominant institutions is broken and people increasingly rely on AIs, those who benefited from existing arrangements may seek to dismantle their upstart competitors.
 
At the same time, those who seek fundamental changes in society or who find the alternative ways of organizing it valuable, may seek to enlarge and strengthen the alternative infrastructure.
 
Counter institutions (XIs) are created both to defend the AIs and to promote their growth. These work to challenge and attack the status quo while creating, defending, and securing space for opposition and alternative institutions.  They do this with everything from political protests, to direct appropriation (of plantations, government buildings, factories, etc.) for the use of alternative institutions, to civil disobedience or armed resistance.
 
The line between AIs and XIs is seldom entirely clear as many alternative institutions are also self-promoting or defending.   Together the AIs and XIs form an alternative source of power in society which is "necessarily autonomous from, and competitive with, the dominant system, seeking to encroach upon the latter's domain, and, eventually, to replace it."

During the process of building the alternative institutions and the ideology that supports them, the advantage of dual power is the creation of real, and not merely political, momentum towards the revolutionary transformation of society.
 
Actual changes are ongoing, rather than postponed to a revolutionary moment, so needs unmet by the pre-existing order are being met during the struggle and no sector of society is told that its concerns can only be dealt with after victory is achieved.  That is, creation of AIs and the political space for them has intrinsic benefits, apart from the advancement of the revolutionary project.
 
Over the course of building AIs, the society at large is empowered, committed to change, and skilled in running society. Simultaneously, the credibility of a revolutionary vision is increased immensely by putting it into practice and by refining and improving it over time.
 
It is also conceivable that factional splits between revolutionaries and reformers (and all the shades in between) could be reduced by having a common project that both find useful. Those forces that would be sent to suppress a revolutionary movement find themselves confronting people who have taken control over their own lives, rather than armed cadre attempting to impose a vision on the country, potentially obviating military conflict or at least reducing its severity.

Successful dual power rebellions end with the acceptance of the new social forms by much of the populace and the realization by the old rulers that they are no longer capable of using their systems of force against the revolutionary movement.  This can occur because non-cooperation has crippled the old structures of power, because too few people remain loyal to the old rulers to enforce their will, or because the rulers themselves undergo an ideological conversion.
 
At this point, there is not general confusion.   The disappearance of old leaders and structures of power is accommodated by the expansion of the alternative system.
 
The alleged "necessity" for a revolutionary vanguard to guide the revolutionary impulse is shown to have no basis: because the people have already learned how to govern their own affairs, they need no tutelage from above.
 
The possibility of co-option is minimized: "When the people recognize their true power, it cannot be taken away by rhetoric or […] imposition."

Dual power is a strategy, rather than an ideology, and it could plausibly be used to advance a variety of forms of social change.
 
However, the advantages of the strategy make it most compatible with perspectives that emphasize the exercise of power at the community level, that seek to make the revolutionary movement accountable to the people, that see the capability to revision and transform society as common rather than rare, and that seek decentralized forms of power.
 
Call this version of the strategy grassroots dual power, the bottom-up transformation and replacement of the mechanisms of society."
~ Wikipedia

I can't see any way of fixing what we are living with/through now...

So...

I want to use my limited energy on building something new using the Dual Power strategy, approaching it, as a friend suggested, with a spirit of generosity, shifting from the place of problems and deficits (or even finding solutions to these problems) to valuing people for the gifts they bring to community...










Thursday, April 12, 2012

This Is Now...


"It takes courage to heal.

It takes courage to speak on behalf of the whole, to be a voice, a full expression for the Earth and for its diverse species, for all human life, for a consciousness that knows that peace is our inheritance and that our responsibility is to reveal our interdependence.

It takes courage for science and spirituality to dialogue and illuminate new possibilities for humankind.

It takes courage to reach towards the manifestation of a vision that transforms enemies into allies and disillusionment into hope.

But you were born for such a time as this."
~ James O'Dea

...another beautiful spring day here on Vashon Island...

amazing how exposure to sunlight over two consecutive days can alter my mood - for the better!

oh, and remembering that other people's moods and issues are not necessarily anything to do with/about me - they MIGHT be, but chances are they're not...

and reminding myself just to stay in this very moment, in the NOW, where everything is OK...

"When you go home to the present moment, you touch the wonders of life that are inside you and around you.

Just enjoy this moment; you don't have to wait for tomorrow to have peace and joy."
~ Thich Nhat Hanh


and reminding myself that I'm powerful and strong and can/will deal with whatever the next step is...


and that it's up to me, how this story ends and how I experience that ending...

and at the same time, while...




... I am not alone in this...




... it's all in the perspective ...



That Was Then...


...having a blah day...

there's tension in the house where we're staying... too many people, not enough space, no privacy, teenage boy stuff going on, family struggling with change also...

And...

waiting for court decision...

And...

no idea how to fund the next step away from here, whether it's to stay in the US or go back to Oz...

And...

boring female issues - am in tail end of peri-menopause, body's trying to menstruate and feel like crap, with backache from sleeping on couch too long, and sore, stiff joints from drinking too much coffee, eating too late each evening and sitting around too much...

And...

finding this change time in the external world hard to take - really weird feeling we're living in revolutionary times and knowing that things will get much worse before they get better... feel sad and mad and frustrated all at the same time...

And...

feeling everyone's angst and resistance...

And...

fed up with feeling pessimistic and negative...

"If you're experiencing a difficult time in life, you'll need to bolster your feelings of happiness before you can work on your challenges.

It might seem as if the reverse were true.

But by nourishing yourself with happiness first, you lay the groundwork to address your pain."
~ Thich Nhat Hanh

so - let's enjoy the sunshine and put a little love in our hearts: