There's something to be said for Kitchen Table Wisdom - you know, like in the old days when people sat around the kitchen table after a meal and talked about life, the universe and the meaning of it all - as well as the gossip doing the rounds in town...

Well, that's what this place is - a place to share common wisdom, thoughts and feelings about things important and unimportant, that bring us joy, laughter and happiness and that trouble, sadden, confuse and anger us ...

What I write here is what's 'real' for me. It won't always be PC or 'nice'. We're missing out on true connection and chances to grow and change because there's too little authenticity, too little honesty, too much holding back what we really feel and mean.

Welcome to my world...

I used to have a copyright claim here, but I've removed it...

Ideas don't belong to anyone -

they come to those who are receptive and are to be used for the well being of all...

I find images and movies and music all over the web

and I use them to accent/expand on my thoughts and understandings...


If you feel you have experienced or received something of value in reading my posts,

please consider either:

Giving a Koha/Love Offering Here - Donate with WePay

or paying it forward to those who need

material and emotional/spiritual sustenance in this world...


Thank You


As You Think, So It Is - Your Beliefs Create Your Reality

If your Reality isn't Working for You, Create a New One!

Life Unlimited!


Namaste

(the Divine in me, recognises and honours the Divine in you)

Sahila




Showing posts with label power. Show all posts
Showing posts with label power. Show all posts

Monday, December 9, 2013

I'm Racist - There, I've Said It....


I am, though I cringe to admit it, a racist... I am... truly...

I grew up in a time - the 60s - and a place - New Zealand - where black faces were hardly ever seen...

I grew up with, was educated by and with, socialised by and with whites - mostly people whose roots were in the United Kingdom, some who came from various parts of Europe...

I saw brown faces and yellow faces and olive-complexioned faces here and there, but black faces not at all... at least not until I was in my teens and my mother rented out one of the bedrooms in our house to students from Africa who were studying at our local university as part of the Colombo Plan...

There's a studio portrait of me as a young child, sitting on the floor, playing with one of those (now highly collectible) metal money boxes, made in the shape of a young black child, with a moveable arm that takes coins up to his mouth and drops them through the slot that is his lips...


At school we learned to read using the stories of Little Black Sambo:





















we had that choosing rhyme: Eenie, meanie, minie, moh, catch a NIGGER by the toe, if he squeals, let him go, eenie, meanie, minie, moh...

and we had the BBC's Black & White Minstrel Show on television:


Nothing in this was thought to be disrespectful; in fact, it wasn't thought of at all - there was no concept of political correctness... and as young children, absorbing this through osmosis, without the capacity or experience to think critically about it, without a frame of reference/context to hang any of this on, how could we possibly know that there was anything wrong in this?

Of course, later when I got a chance to look at the world with mature eyes, to learn history, to travel and to think things through, I saw how caricaturish, stereotypical and inappropriate all of this was...

I don't know if anyone MEANT all of this to be actively racist... not in New Zealand anyway... I get the feeling that someone in education for example, working out a reading curriculum, saw the readers on the market, thought "how cute, kids will love these" and plowed on without thinking it through... while New Zealanders then were inventive and creative and bright and savvy in many respects, they were, after all, isolated down at the bottom of the world, away - in experience, distance and time - from much of what was fomenting in the US...

My point is that as a young child, I was exposed to, and took in, various disrespectful, RACIST images and messages about people of colour, mostly African and, by extension, African Americans.  And this stuff gets hardwired into the brain... it just pops up when a cue is triggered...

In 1990, I went back to school, to get a diploma in broadcast journalism.  As part of our coursework, we were required to undertake compulsory cultural sensitivity training.   I wrote about that here: White Privilege & Colour Blindness

To this day, despite that "sensitivity training" and my willing acceptance of the truth with which I was confronted in that class, certain images, sounds or real time 3D interactions will cause a racist thought to come to mind, a thought that was seeded in those early childhood exposures... I don't know how to stop those thoughts arising in a nano-second... I notice them, am ashamed and I send them packing...

In truth, while I've had a lot of interaction with people of all skin colours, from many countries, cultures, religions, sexual orientations, gender identifications, I still feel confused and foolish when I am around people "other" than me.   I feel ignorant and diffident around them... I am ALWAYS afraid that my ignorance will cause offence in some way... that I will do or say something that is unintentionally hurtful, demeaning, perceived as arrogant, patronising, RACIST...

And then I get pissy... I know I'm a good, kind, loving person who honours all beings, who is sincerely interested in deep, meaningful, respectful connection with others, who is not intentionally racist.   Why should I be on the back foot all the time, feel defensive in even the most superficial encounters with others who are not like me?

And then, finally, it all comes full circle, when on a Twitter thread yesterday some person I don't know comments in a discussion on poverty and education (with a sub text that poor black children have it harder than poor white children), that all white people are a plague on the earth...

I guess that might be poetic justice, that a person of colour makes global statements about the white race, just as whites have made global statements about blacks... But is that an improvement, an evolution?  

There was a complete unwillingness to acknowledge that oppression happens to all of us, to varying degrees.  That I might have more privilege than a black woman, but that I have less than a white man... and that black woman has more privilege than a Native American woman... That we humans have ALWAYS found ways to marginalise each other, to get power over each other, since the dawn of time, within our own families, clans, tribes and in relation to the "other", the "outsider"... We are in many respects, no different to wild pack animals, who have complicated rules around dominance.  We pretend we have risen above all that, but we haven't... we're just a lot more subtle - though no less brutal - about how we enforce it...

Nothing can/will change until we human beings deal with each other as unique individuals, without all of the baggage history has left us with... we can't turn the clock back... we can't undo what was done... in many cases, we can't fix it, though some countries, like New Zealand, are attempting to right some wrongs and heal some wounds...

What is to be done to help us move forward in some kind of state of grace?


Tuesday, April 24, 2012

Skin...





by 2042, Caucasians will be in the minority in the US
and in the world by 2060...


I think that's exciting...

Just as the patriarchy is having to give way to those it dominated,
so the imperialists will have to give way to those they colonised...

The turning of the wheel...

Karma...

I wonder what life will look like...

I wonder what the oligarchs think of this coming change...

They can't stop it happening...

Can they control/fashion it into something they can live with?

Is that what they are attempting to do now,
by attaining and controlling
the majority of wealth, assets and resources globally,
in passing laws that restrict civil and human rights,
and in reforming our health and education systems in ways
that are taking us back to economic,
social and political re-segregation?

What do you think?



Thursday, April 12, 2012

This Is Now...


"It takes courage to heal.

It takes courage to speak on behalf of the whole, to be a voice, a full expression for the Earth and for its diverse species, for all human life, for a consciousness that knows that peace is our inheritance and that our responsibility is to reveal our interdependence.

It takes courage for science and spirituality to dialogue and illuminate new possibilities for humankind.

It takes courage to reach towards the manifestation of a vision that transforms enemies into allies and disillusionment into hope.

But you were born for such a time as this."
~ James O'Dea

...another beautiful spring day here on Vashon Island...

amazing how exposure to sunlight over two consecutive days can alter my mood - for the better!

oh, and remembering that other people's moods and issues are not necessarily anything to do with/about me - they MIGHT be, but chances are they're not...

and reminding myself just to stay in this very moment, in the NOW, where everything is OK...

"When you go home to the present moment, you touch the wonders of life that are inside you and around you.

Just enjoy this moment; you don't have to wait for tomorrow to have peace and joy."
~ Thich Nhat Hanh


and reminding myself that I'm powerful and strong and can/will deal with whatever the next step is...


and that it's up to me, how this story ends and how I experience that ending...

and at the same time, while...




... I am not alone in this...




... it's all in the perspective ...



Wednesday, February 1, 2012

CRASS: There Is No Authority But Yourself...


... punk is not my thing, nor is heavy metal, nor is rap....

AND... when I listen to the lyrics and the thoughts/ideas underpinning them, then punk, heavy metal and rap definitely speak the same truths I have come to understand via other paths...




LYRICS:
You talk about your revolution, well, that's fine
But what are you going to be doing come the time?
Are you going to be the big man with the tommy-gun?
Will you talk of freedom when the blood begins to run?
Well, freedom has no value if violence is the price
Don't want your revolution, I want anarchy and peace

You talk of overthrowing power with violence as your tool
You speak of liberation and when the people rule
Well ain't it people rule right now, what difference would there be?
Just another set of bigots with their rifle-sights on me

But what about those people who don't want your new restrictions?
Those that disagree with you and have their own convictions?
You say they've got it wrong because they don't agree with you
So when the revolution comes you'll have to run them through
You say that revolution will bring freedom for us all
Well freedom just ain't freedom when your back's against the wall

You talk of overthrowing power with violence as your tool
You speak of liberation and when the people rule
Well ain't it people rule right now, what difference would there be?
Just another set of bigots with their rifle-sights on me

Will you indoctrinate the masses to serve your new regime?
And simply do away with those whose views are too extreme?
Transportation details could be left to British rail
Where Zyklon B succeeded, North Sea Gas will fail
It's just the same old story of man destroying man
We've got to look for other answers to the problems of this land

You talk of overthrowing power with violence as your tool
You speak of liberation and when the people rule
Well ain't it people rule right now, what difference would there be?
Just another set of bigots with their rifle-sights on me

Vive la revolution, people of the world unite
Stand up men of courage, it's your job to fight

It all seems very easy, this revolution game
But when you start to really play things won't be quite the same
Your intellectual theories on how it's going to be
Don't seem to take into account the true reality
Cos the truth of what you're saying, as you sit there sipping beer
Is pain and death and suffering, but of course you wouldn't care

You're far too much of a man for that, if Mao did it so can you
What's the freedom of us all against the suffering of the few?
That's the kind of self-deception that killed ten million jews
Just the same false logic that all power-mongers use
So don't think you can fool me with your political tricks
Political right, political left, you can keep your politics
Government is government and all government is force
Left or right, right or left, it takes the same old course
Oppression and restriction, regulation, rule and law
The seizure of that power is all your revolution's for
You romanticise your heroes, quote from Marx and Mao
Well their ideas of freedom are just oppression now

Nothing changed for all the death, that their ideas created
It's just the same fascistic games, but the rules aren't clearly stated
Nothing's really different cos all government's the same
They can call it freedom, but slavery is the game

Nothing changed for all the death, that their ideas created
It's just the same fascistic games, but the rules aren't clearly stated
Nothing's really different cos all government's the same
They can call it freedom, but slavery is the game
There's nothing that you offer but a dream of last years hero
The truth of revolution, brother................... is year zero.





Tuesday, January 17, 2012

Keep Your Hands Off My Web...



I will not be posting new blog entries
for 24 hours after midnight 17-18 January 2012,
in solidarity with the internet blackout protest
over SOPA -
the internet censorship legislation
the oligarchs are attempting to impose on US citizens...


 

Sunday, January 15, 2012

Dysfunction...








Words from the abusive parent:
I'm only doing this for your own good.
You're stupid.
Obey your parent.
Do as I say, not as I do.
Don't talk back.
Love me, or you will live in shame.
If you refuse to love me, I will punish you.

 

Words from the abusive government:
We're only doing this for the good of the people.
The smart people (us of course) will fix it.
Obey your leaders.
Do as we say, not as we do.
Don't talk back.
Love your country, or you will live in shame.
If you refuse to love your country, we will punish you.

 
 

Wednesday, November 30, 2011

Explanation Unnecessary...



... this is our reality...



I want something else for my children and the planet...





What Do You Want?




The Oppression Of Children...


Via my friend Conny Jensen:

 
"..they cannot survive without you. It is a question of life and death!.. Instead of making them more alert, more aware, more alive, more reflective, instead of making them more mirror-like, pure, you make them full of ideas...layers and layers of dust.  And then it becomes impossible for them to see that which is.  They start seeing that which is not and they stop seeing that which is."


This is bondage. But everybody is living in bondage, because everybody who brought you up wanted to have power over you, to enjoy the mastery over you.
 
And children are the most helpless people in the world, the most exploited class.
 
It is not the proletariat who are the most exploited class, it is not women who are the most exploited class.  It is the children who are the most exploited class -- and so helpless. 
 
The proletariat can revolt -- they have revolted in Russia, in China and in other communist countries. The women all over the world are making efforts to revolt, but it is impossible to imagine how children will revolt.

They are so helplessly dependent on their parents, they cannot think of any revolt. And unless revolution happens in them all other revolutions are going to be superficial.  The basic conditioning, the basic imprisonment is created in childhood when the child is so helpless that he has to accept whatsoever conditions you put upon him just to survive." 
~Osho
 
 
Wow... extra WOW as I consider which of the two temporary housing options I should take up - have to decide THIS MORNING...
 
One keeps the boy more in his already fragile comfort zone, the other opens new doors for us both...
 
I am veering towards the second...



Tuesday, November 29, 2011

Men - Move Over...



I know this is going to sound very sexist, but even the indigenous elders and the Dalai Lama have said this...

Real change is going to come at the hands of women...

Men - you've pretty much had the run of the planet for several thousand years, and you've pretty much stuffed it up... 
 
 
I don't know what happens to you sometime between adolescence and adulthood that makes you hate us and the planet so much, but you're not the boys we raised...

If this is how you project your primal womb envy and your fear of emasculation, ENOUGH - STOP IT...

Move over and let us women and our children have a go... 

Before you take us all down with you... 

Seriously...

Friday, November 25, 2011

WTF...

Um, excuse me Universe... 
WTF is going on??? 
I can get onto the websites on which I do my usual social activism stuff, but I can't get onto websites that deal with my financial situation and with finding somewhere to live?
Since when has internet connection been so selective?
I've aligned my priorities, closed down all non-essential tabs and now there's another obstacle in the way...
And I'm fed up with saying "it's OK", "this too will pass", "we are still some of the lucky ones"... 
I know all that is true... AND ... there's no need to take us down to the bare bones to prove the point! 
I've got the message and it's time to move on now, thank you very much!
We have to move - now...
Last night (Thanksgiving night) I learned that there's no nice way to ask the "man of the house" (NB  - important phrase to remember) that is providing refuge for me and my son, to please send his rellies home now, so we could go to bed in the family room, which said rellies were occupying, singing Karaoke, banging drums, yelling, laughing and drinking...
The woman of the house and the daughter had already gone to their beds; the people who were up were her husband and all of his relations...
My son and I were hanging out in a little office/study as there was no spare room with a bed for us to go to... 
I tried hard to be patient; it's just that we were tired, and not used to a lot of loud noise... by midnight, I had almost decided we would sleep on the floor if the gathering didn't end soon...
Background: man of the house and I had had a conversation in the morning, re what time this party was going to go to and what level of inebriation was likely to occur;  from my perspective, I had wanted to know what was happening, to shield the boy from drunken behaviour and because we had been allocated couches to sleep on in the areas that people would be partying in...
Did I mention that my father was an alcoholic who got drunk and very abusive on beer, so family parties were usually something to be dreaded?
Anyway, man of the house had said he expected things to wind down around 7pm...
His wife, who dislikes his family and the parties they have, absented herself all day...
So, at midnight I tentatively went down the stairs to ask the man of the house if could give me some idea about how long he thought things might continue...
His (drunk) male cousin, sitting beside him on the couch, got really aggressive, reminding me of my place in the house and that I had less status than family...
I asked him not to get involved because my question had been to the man of the house...
Man of the house not happy with me, but said they'd probably be another 20 minutes...
2am and the last of them finally left...
(Drunk) man of the house came to seek me out and scolded me for things I have done over the past few days that apparently annoyed him (had had no idea those issues existed) and complained that I had shown him that I did not respect him as the "man of the house"...
He reminded me that though his wife pays the bills, he was still the "man of the house", which, by the way, I had never questioned...
It turns out (and I knew some of this) he and his wife (the woman who is my not-very-close friend/social activism colleague) are having relationship difficulties around lots of issues, INCLUDING their respective education/earning capacities (she's much better educated and earns much more than he does)...
And there is a power/control battle going on over this huge, lovely house that they rebuilt six years ago, which her money has paid for, has been done to her exacting specifications, style and taste and which is now a financial millstone around their joint necks...
It turns out she did not ask the man of the house if we could come and stay here, he thought it was only going to be for a night or two, he doesn't want our cats here (he doesn't want the puppy she got for their daughter six weeks ago) and he resents giving up his "man cave" to us - in a house of 4,200sqft, shared by three people, two cats and a puppy.... 
Lots of projection, lots for me to notice about how people are doing relationships, lots of similarities between this family's power/control dynamic and the previous one we stayed with, lots for me to look back on, regarding my own actions in this house and the previous house-shares we've participated in, and lots to look back on with my two relationships, seeing how any of these issues contributed to the dynamic...
AND... WE NEED TO MOVE - NOW!
It's really hard to be with people who are defensive about where they are at in life;  I can't help it that I know what is going on for them, within themselves and in their relationships - I can't turn off the parts of me which just "know" those things immediately I step into a situation.
I do my best not to reveal/share what I know, unless the person invites me to...
And it's not as though I'm living my life any more graciously than they are;  I'm messing a lot of it up in quite spectacular fashion, if you go by our external circumstances!
So - where next, Life?   Am intending that it be in a place where boy, self, two cats and our bits and pieces can be in peace - either alone or with kindred spirits -  while we complete the legal dances that have been set in motion...  AND that we have plentiful resources to enable that to happen, in ease, dignity and grace...
And so it is...
Blessings Be...
 
 
 

Saturday, November 19, 2011

You Do Realise...



... that we are living inside a REVOLUTION, don't you?

Just take some time to give that idea a chance to sink in...

What does that mean for you?

Maybe it would help get some perspective if we looked back at all of the other revolutions and rebellions we have instigated or fought against...

and there are many, many, many of them... see this (not exhaustive) list:


Seems we are a restless, confused, capricious, difficult to please species... 

Well not really; it seems like some of us have a need to be in power and control over the rest, and others of us don't like being dis-empowered and controlled...

So, given that we don't seem to have the knowledge or the will to do things differently, eventually, we fight it out... 

What's different this time?

One thing that is certainly different, is that this time the revolution is global...

AND there is more at stake - the survival of our own and all the other species living on the planet, if not the planet herself...

So, in the first place, do you believe me?  You don't have to take my word for it... open your eyes and ears and your mind... look all around you...

And if you then do agree that we are living inside a REVOLUTION, where do you stand?

For or Against?

And what will you do for or against this REVOLUTION?

Everything?

Something?

Nothing?


LYRICS
History never repeats
I tell myself before I go to sleep
Don't say the words you might regret
I've lost before you know I can't forget

There was a girl I used to know
She dealt my love a savage blow
I was so young, too blind to see
But anyway that's History

(I say) History never repeats
I Tell myself before I go to sleep
Don't say the words you might regret
I've lost before you know I can't forget

You say I always played the fool
I can't go on if that's the rule
Better to jump than hesitate
I need a change and I can't wait

History never repeats
I tell myself before I go to sleep
And there's a light shining in the dark
Leading me on towards a change of heart (ah-ar)

History never repeats (x2)

Deep in the night it's all so clear
I lie awake with great ideas
Lurking about in no-man's land
I think at last I understand

History never repeats
I tell myself before I go to sleep
And there's a light shining in the dark
Leading me on towards a change of heart (ah-ar)
Never repeats (x3)
Hey Hey, Hey... 









Monday, November 14, 2011

How Low Can You Go?

I'm asking for prayers and good vibes... 
Son's father is fighting our proposed move to Australia in court... not only that, but he wants custody of him, claiming I am an unfit mother...
This from the man who has been kicked off five different domestic violence perpetrator programmes in five years... whose visitation access to our son is determined by how much progress he is making on said programmes...
And he's playing really, really dirty - I can't even read the court documents he filed in their entirety yet, they are so horrible...
I picked up the documents this evening - they were improperly served at the previous house we had lived in...
And leaving the house, the car in front of me had a bumper sticker in Yiddish, with English translation... it said "Have courage, be strong"... I hadn't even read the documents yet!!!
I  need to focus on filing a response to this crap - one of the hearings is on the 28th, I think, and I have 20 days to reply to the other motion he filed... and I have to file a request for the renewal of the Protection Order this week...
It's kinda hard to do the forgiveness thing when, just when I think I am there, more of this crap comes - but I guess that's the challenge...
And after tomorrow, I don't know where we'll be living.... the boy and I, two cats and some of our "stuff"... and our van with the window that was shot out September 2010 that's still covered in clear plastic sheeting and dragon-patterned duct tape!
The rent for the week-to-week motel we're staying at was due three days ago - the landlord is asking for it...
Son's dad owes me $1,500 and two clients owe me around $3,000; have been asking for them to cough up - no reply yet...  
I guess I now understand something about what life was like for the people who went through the Great Depression and World War 2... 
Though I still probably haven't got a clue what life is like for the millions in the third world, starving to death...
Well - I guess this all goes on tomorrow's agenda...
I have just enough gas left to get to my therapy appointment (lovely women who doesn't ask me to front up with the co-pays!); will use the hour with her to get my head around all of this...
PS:   As above, so below, as within, so without... the macro reflects the micro and vice versa...
It's 11.30pm Pacific Time here in Seattle, and I am watching the New York Police Department completely destroy the OccupyWallStreet camp... pepper spraying, hurting, arresting protestors and trashing absolutely everything...
It seems to me to be synchronistic that I got those horrible, hurting, trashing documents tonight and that we are facing homelessness tomorrow, in the same manner as OccupyWallStreet - which is standing up to governmental and corporate abuse - is being attacked/evicted by police...
As a Facebook friend said: "the empathic principal in action... seems to me that the line being drawn is spreading like wildfire... much violence is up, which is the sign of weakness and fear...sigh"...