Home...

Dear Universe...

I'm grateful for having had this haven for these last months...

 

AND it's REALLY, REALLY REALLY time for us to move on... it's almost June 1st, Shawn is getting antsy, the teenage boy thing is revving up and we really need to settle in our own space with our stuff around us...

Which means there needs to be somewhere for us to go to, AND resources to make the move possible...

I've already put out intentions for the housing situation - what that looks like in terms of people and environment...

The economic and resources issues are next for consideration...

 

From my limited human perspective I can see several ways to bring that about:

Satisfying income-generating opportunities come my way, that make worthwhile use of my skills and talents, still leave me time and energy to be present with the boy AND bring sufficient cash and other resources for us to move AND to live well;

AND the judge decides that boy's father has to make a serious, generous, real-world contribution to the cost of raising and enriching the boy and the money part of that is enough to move AND pay the rent and other costs;

 

AND someone who has more than they need, chooses to share some of it with me and the boy, in a free, no-strings attached manner, so that I can continue and expand the social change work I've been doing in a joyous, care-free way...

AND some sort of windfall lands in my lap that takes care of our housing and living requirements...

I don't care which solution manifests - whether it's one, some, or all of these options combined, or something completely different ... Just BRING IT ON!

Thank you

Namaste


Sahila

 

 

Strange Pain...

 

"People are afraid of themselves, of their own reality; their feelings most of all.

People talk about how great love is, but that’s bullshit.  Love hurts.

Feelings are disturbing.

People are taught that pain is evil and dangerous.

How can they deal with love if they’re afraid to feel?

Pain is meant to wake us up.

People try to hide their pain.  But they’re wrong.  Pain is something to carry, like a radio.

You feel your strength in the experience of pain.   It’s all in how you carry it.  That’s what matters.

Pain is a feeling. Your feelings are a part of you.  Your own reality.  If you feel ashamed of them and hide them, you’re letting society destroy your reality.

You should stand up for your right to feel your pain."

~ Jim Morrison

I needed to read those words today...

AND I so need to come up with some sort of mental/emotional re-frame that will motivate me to open and read ex's (sure to be horrible, if past experience is anything to go by) court response justifying why he ought not to pay adequate child support, and to come up with my own response, for filing TODAY...

A friend suggested: "Pretend you are an advocate for someone else in the same situation.  Pretend he is not really your ex.  That you have never even met him,  you are merely reading the particulars of the situation someone else is struggling with.  It might help you distance yourself from the initial emotional reaction (which is completely justified, by the way.   Praying for you,  Love  ♥"

AND... I'm not there yet... and the clock is ticking...

... and the universe listened to my angst and said:

 

To Every Thing There Is A Season...

"To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven:

a time to be born, and a time to die;

a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted; 

a time to kill, and a time to heal; 

a time to break down, and a time to build up;

a time to weep, and a time to laugh;

a time to mourn, and a time to dance;

a time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together;

a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing;

a time to get, and a time to lose;

a time to keep, and a time to cast away;

a time to rend, and a time to sew;

a time to keep silence, and a time to speak;

a time to love, and a time to hate;

a time of war, and a time of peace."

~ Ecclesiastes 3. 1-8

 

Get This Baby Born Already...

Dear Universe - I know it's just my own emotional roller coaster I'm riding and it's up to me how long and how far I want to ride it...

 

AND now would be a good time to bring some uplifting material and metaphysical goodies into my realm!

It's Monday and I STILL don't like Mondays - even though it's another gorgeous day, the sun is shining, we're fed, clothed and housed, with loving, caring people in our lives!

(What is it I'm bitching about, again?)!...

It's just a morning of weary, wary heaviness as I'm so aware the next step needs to be taken soon, and I don't know where/what it will be yet...

So many of us are feeling this...

So much to do, I have done/can/am willing to do...

And the (metaphorical) harvest is late - all of that activity, energy, commitment  hasn't brought in anything we can live off, at least in the "traditional" sense...

The only thing that comes to mind is that we - individually and collectively - are in the middle of a long, hard birthing process, the outcome of which - a safe, healthy, delivery - is not yet assured...

Something IS being born - we just are not sure what...

AND in the grand scheme of LIFE, there is no right/wrong, good/bad about what will emerge from the birth canal...

The only thing that is true is that we can't go back...

In the meantime, just as in labour, we have to go with the process because we have no control...

We can't stop it, or make it go faster without endangering mother and child...
 

 

LYRICS:
You've bags under your eyes
You've got boobs to your knees
Your hand's full of poo and your bra's full of cheese
Your stomach is bloated your clothes do not fit
He still wants sex while you feel like shit
He begs for this favour not long after labour
It's like eating a meal after you've just been sick

And the boys at the office tell him I should give him what he wants
To this I say that they're a bunch of lalalalalalala

You bastard you cocked up it's you got me knocked up
Just cos you want me to have bigger tits
You're pleading, you're pining
Oh please stop your whining
You're not getting sex 'til the kid's 26

You say you want another child, another pregnancy
When you can poo a watermelon I'll agree

I could have been someone if you just hadn't come (along)
If I hadn't been so drunk and I'd said maybe
We'd be going out and stuff, now there's forceps up my chuff
Pulling the head of a screaming 10lb baby

And the mums on Hornby Island* say keep breast feeding 'til they're four
If I do I won't have nipples anymore

And all the doctors told me that I'd need a stitch or ten
I say sew me up so I can't do this again.

*an island nearby with a reputation for being very wholesome! 

Manifesting in 3,2,1...

UNSCHOOLED YOUNGSTER,

TWO CATS and

ME (crone hippy wannabe with strong pragmatic streak),

DESIRING SOMEWHERE LONG TERM, SEMI-PERMANENT

TO LIVE AND WORK

From June 1st...

We've been living on Vashon Island with friends while waiting for our personal situation to solidify...

Which it has - I keep custody of the boy AND we have to stay living here in the US...

Time now to settle, give our loving, generous, patient friends their space back...

In the "BEST-OF-ALL-POSSIBLE-WORLDS" I see in my visions,

we're living here on Vashon...

• in a community...
• with compatible, loving, like-minded, awake and aware, creative, sober folk...
• in an eco-friendly, sustainable environment (earth house and/or small farm style etc with a garden, orchard, bees, poultry, goats, PEACOCKS! etc - I'm willing to help make that happen)...
• moving towards an organic, whole food/paleo diet...
• near water with a view of the mountain...
• with other children...
• with a separate room/studio I can use as my office and for my breath work and spiritual/life coaching practice...
• with all the resources we need to support and care for ourselves, our community, the land, air and water, to live fully and richly...

I'm mature, self-aware, non-judgemental, very left/progressive/anarchic-leaning social justice activist, independent in nature, plain speaking (with love), real, with a sarcastic, sardonic, mildly black sense of humour, focusing on supporting Occupy/99% Spring activities, highlighting alternative economies, alternative forms of social organisation and public education issues...

The boy's loving, giving, mature, intelligent, curious, gentle, calm, respectful, funny...

The cats are mature, spayed/neutered, house-trained, calm, sane, indoor-outdoor...

I have lots of skills to share - see here:

mainstream = communication, marketing, PR, research, project management = http://www.metamind-creative.com/ ;
alternative = healer/shaman/therapist/minister/birth, death, marriage celebrant = http://www.metamind-spirit.com/ ;
activist = http://www.sahilachangebringer.blogspot.com/ ; 

http://www.linkedin.com/in/changebringer

plus interior design, renovation/building project management, housekeeping, child and elder care, cooking, knitting etc...

I have a complete household of stuff in storage, which I'm happy to share with others...

We will contribute cash to rent/mortgage, household costs and food...

Preferred alternatives would be to:

• RENT a "tiny" house/cottage (less than 600 sq ft) OR
• HOUSE-SIT long-term OR
• WORK as residential property manager in exchange for free rent of 2-bedroom apartment, condo, house...

 again, near water, surrounded by green,

with a view of the mountain...

Thanks Universe, for making this a reality in 3D,

for our highest good and the highest good of all

AND SO IT IS

Namaste 

Sahila

Alone...

 

“Not I, not anyone else, can travel that road for you; you must travel it for yourself.” 

- Walt Whitman

 

 

"... AND I can walk beside you, hold your hand and offer you unconditional love and comfort..."

 - Sahila ChangeBringer

 

 

 with love and thanks for, and to, all the wonderful beings, 

walking beside me in my life...

 

 

 

 

Bearing Witness...

Boy and I marched yesterday, in Seattle, to honour the May Day General Strike action...

Interesting experience - a reality check about the state of the world really, giving me lots to think about...

We marched to bear witness to what is going on in these times...

To bear witness, and, by our presence, to send a message to the powers-that-be that we know what is going on, and it's not OK...

"If we do act, in however small a way, we don't have to wait for some grand Utopian future.  The future is an infinite succession of presents and to live now as we think Human beings should live - in defiance of all that is bad around us - is in and of itself a marvellous victory." 

~ Howard Zinn

 

We went with our school teacher house-mate and another family...

We were a little late to the event, joining the march half way through...

We weren't expecting it to be the big deal it turned out to be...

I was impressed by, and grateful to, the young people who saw us (not that far behind Black Block - which we had no idea would be there), advising us to take a detour when things got 'exciting', so that the children would not be caught up in the fracas and the tear gas, pepper spray...

Some cars parked along the route were spray painted with protest symbols and had their tyres slashed...

I felt empathy for the owners of those cars who would come back to find this damage; 

The police were positioned to PROTECT BUILDINGS/CORPORATIONS not citizens...

I didn't feel any sympathy for the owners of the buildings that were damaged - though I was concerned for bystanders...

When a country, state and city (USA/Washington/Seattle) decides to use military force, surveillance and unmanned drones against its own citizenry, does it really think that the people won't feel they have to meet force/intimidation with force/intimidation, to both fight back and to retake their freedom?

Quite a challenge to explain all this to the boy and his peers...
 

Scary parts?

Talking to strangers and wondering whether or not they were infiltrators...

Noticing all the video and still cameras taking photos...

Sure there were news crews doing their thing and private individuals taking photos of cool signs and their group participants...

But who were all those other unidentified people, walking around click, click, clicking away without asking the people they were photographing if it was OK?

How the world saw what went on in the US yesterday:

Biggest May Day Protests in Nation's History

And for us here in the US - we are not alone:

May Day Protests Span The Globe