Self-Delusional Arrogance...

Beware - this is a rant... so if you don't want to read a tirade, click out now!

It's been one of those days, when, with insufficient coffee and food in the system and too much stress over too long a period of time, I've run out of elastic in dealing with self-righteous, self-centred, arrogant, delusional, "know-it-all" housemates who hide behind their "spiritually advanced" personas to "win" or "maintain" their power...

 

I find it ironic that people who claim to be so advanced don't recognise when they're using actions, language, tone of voice and body stance to disempower others, to manipulate the conversation and to generate the outcome they desire...

I find it ironic that they can't accept that there's a place of "and/also" where both points of view are valid and that it's possible to find resolution of issues without having to make one person/perspective right and the other wrong...

I find it ironic that these so-called spiritually advanced people preach one thing but practise something else altogether, and don't recognise when they're not living their teachings... and then criticise others for not "walking the talk"...

I find it ironic that these people hide behind their own "stories", including so-called past lives as famous people, to bolster their egos and to claim their space, legitimacy and authority in the world, while at the same time they criticise other people for being so much in the "ego" and so attached to their "stories"...

It's sad really, watching these people do that... It reminds me of my mother, who, when life was really tough and she felt like a failure or that she was being judged, used to remind herself that her family came from minor French nobility and that they lost all their power, prestige and lands in the French Revolution... 

I'm disturbed when I hear them denigrate other people, including their teachers, respected leaders of the Buddhist community here in this town...

I'm disturbed when I hear them, in conversation with third parties, denigrate other people for whom they are providing astrology "readings"...

I'm disturbed when I hear them judge other people for not journeying through life in the way they think is most appropriate; it's frightening that such "spiritually advanced" people don't acknowledge their own limitations and yet don't recognise the Divine, infinite autonomy of others and the  sacredness that is their journey, however they choose to walk it...

I'm disturbed when I see them meddling in their clients' lives to the extent that relationships and careers are irrevocably affected, all on the 'authority' of astrology and their so-called spiritual enlightenment... 

I'm plain pissed-off when another "alpha" female criticises me for using ultra-pasteurised cream for a dessert, saying it has no nutritional value left, when she nukes her food in the microwave...

I'm plain pissed-off when the same female interferes in my parenting of my son, and attempts to correct his behaviour by mocking him.   I have raised three children to relatively successful adulthood already, and I think I know what I'm doing...

I'm plain pissed-off when the same "know-it-all" woman insists that peptic ulcers are caused by a virus and that they are treatable by antibiotics... they're not caused by a virus but by a bacteria...

I'm plain pissed-off that just because I don't spout off my life history and everything I've learned along the way, the same woman assumes I know nothing and feels a need to lecture me on everything from spirituality/metaphysics to history, politics, economics, parenting, pet care and housekeeping...

I'm plain pissed-off that this woman has a need to correct everything I say that's not 100% accurate.   The other day, in the middle of a tense discussion about how warm the house should be kept, she corrected me that the word I should be using was "oil" and not "gas"...

Such a strong need to exercise power and control and to "win", coming out of her own deep-seated insecurity... 

So today we had a blazing row which no one "won" and did not result in any solutions/agreements...ugh!

In my teachings, there are only two states of emotion - love and fear...

Love is expanding, fear is contracting...

All other "negative" emotions - anger, disappointment, frustration, envy etc - are cover-ups for fear...

And there are four basic fears: fear of death, fear of abandonment, fear of rejection and fear of humiliation...

In any situation where we're not feeling love, one or more of these basic fears has been triggered in us...

I wonder which fears my housemate and I are each reacting to?  

We're all  mirrors for each other, bringing to light unresolved wounds from the past, and playing the role of other people in those unresolved dramas, so I'm feeling her fear will be complementary in nature to mine...

I'm saying my version of prayers to my version of god asking for insight into my part of this tangle and for guidance to resolve this with ease, dignity, grace and love...