There's something to be said for Kitchen Table Wisdom - you know, like in the old days when people sat around the kitchen table after a meal and talked about life, the universe and the meaning of it all - as well as the gossip doing the rounds in town...

Well, that's what this place is - a place to share common wisdom, thoughts and feelings about things important and unimportant, that bring us joy, laughter and happiness and that trouble, sadden, confuse and anger us ...

What I write here is what's 'real' for me. It won't always be PC or 'nice'. We're missing out on true connection and chances to grow and change because there's too little authenticity, too little honesty, too much holding back what we really feel and mean.

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Thank You

As You Think, So It Is - Your Beliefs Create Your Reality

If your Reality isn't Working for You, Create a New One!

Life Unlimited!


(the Divine in me, recognises and honours the Divine in you)


Saturday, May 22, 2010

Realities of Dating After 50

Whoever wrote about first dates these days being more like (informational) interviews had it right on! 

I had one of those a while ago.   I felt I was being asked the kind of questions I would have been asked if I was applying for a job - did I qualify for this person to spend more time with me?   I think I failed the interview - haven't so far been asked back for a second (no contact at all), but that could also be because I told him in my 'thank you' note that was what the experience felt like for me!   Not sure he was real enough to go there with me!

I think I'm way behind the 8-ball in this dating thing.   I'm 51, have a young child and little child-free time and, for my son's emotional and physical safety, until I really get to know someone, I keep my 'personal' life separate from my family life. 

It seems there are not many men in my age range who want to do this particular dance with me and I understand that.   While I think I'm a wonderful human being and a great catch(!), in many respects my circumstances are not an attractive proposition.   Potential mates are footloose and fancy free, hot-to-trot with money in their pockets and lots of time and freedom and few responsibilities - I can't match that.

I'd like to get to know someone casually - spend time doing grown-up things, get to know each other and let it develop from there, if its going to.   I don't see how I could effectively and fairly manage the parameters of a fiery, intense 'got-to-spend-every-minute-I-can-with-you' encounter, which seems to be what a lot of men want.... 

Maybe if it happened, I would find a way.   Maybe there's an exceptional man out there who has the stretch to accommodate the realities of my life without getting bent out of shape and becoming resentful that I have a prior commitment to another human being.   

But the pragmatist/realist in me worries that, under the current conditions operating in my life, no-one would be really satisfied and happy.   And for the next few years, the needs and best interests of a youngster are going to over-ride the desires of the adults in this equation.

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