There's something to be said for Kitchen Table Wisdom - you know, like in the old days when people sat around the kitchen table after a meal and talked about life, the universe and the meaning of it all - as well as the gossip doing the rounds in town...

Well, that's what this place is - a place to share common wisdom, thoughts and feelings about things important and unimportant, that bring us joy, laughter and happiness and that trouble, sadden, confuse and anger us ...

What I write here is what's 'real' for me. It won't always be PC or 'nice'. We're missing out on true connection and chances to grow and change because there's too little authenticity, too little honesty, too much holding back what we really feel and mean.

Welcome to my world...

I used to have a copyright claim here, but I've removed it...

Ideas don't belong to anyone -

they come to those who are receptive and are to be used for the well being of all...

I find images and movies and music all over the web

and I use them to accent/expand on my thoughts and understandings...


If you feel you have experienced or received something of value in reading my posts,

please consider either:

Giving a Koha/Love Offering Here - Donate with WePay

or paying it forward to those who need

material and emotional/spiritual sustenance in this world...


Thank You


As You Think, So It Is - Your Beliefs Create Your Reality

If your Reality isn't Working for You, Create a New One!

Life Unlimited!


Namaste

(the Divine in me, recognises and honours the Divine in you)

Sahila




Thursday, February 17, 2011

Judging A Book By Its Cover...




We all do it...

We've made up our minds about a person, a situation, an event, a thing based solely on outward appearances...

And we miss so much of the richness life has to offer us by this short-sightedness...

For example...

I did a bit of self-promotion on Facebook today, putting up links to my two websites - 

If you click on the links, you'll notice that I've used Comic Sans for the font on both...

I got an immediate response from a Facebook connection.   In addition to a private message, she posted the following in public:

SZ: If someone you know just put up a new website promoting their business services....and it's done in Comic Sans, what do you tell them? (My heart stopped when I saw it.)
 
EAS: I would suggest - gently - that perhaps that particular font isn't the most professional-looking. I love that font, it's my favorite for personal correspondence. But definitely a no-no if one wishes to have their business taken seriously.
 
ETB: LOL! Politely suggest to them that it's not really a professional font. What else can you do?
 

SZ:  Brilliant, DD! Loved that link.   I had to tell her the truth because I like her and I know no one will ever hire her based on her website. I glanced at it for ONE SECOND, gasped and clicked off as if I'd seen the most offensive thing in the world. That was my honest reaction. I did tell her Comic Sans' only appropriate use is for a birthday party invitation for a kid under 5.  EAS, why, oh why, do you "love that font?" Doesn't it scream "immature" to you?

EAS: Hehe... you say "immature", I say "free-spirited". Hence my only using it for personal stuff. ;)  The link was awesome, too. Yet another example of inappropriate font usage. ;)

MY RESPONSE:
Sahila ChangeBringer: I want to thank you SZ for your feedback, and you're not the first person who has had that reaction, and been good enough (really, I appreciate the honesty and courage) to let me know what they think.

            I use the font DELIBERATELY... One of the ideas I work with, with my mainstream and 'other' clients, is that our beliefs shape our reality... and those beliefs are often based on ideas that might once have had value but are for the most part obsolete... and judging someone as "professional" or "immature" by the font they use is one of these cases...

            I sometimes facilitate workshops (where none of the participants have met me before), turning up in the scruffiest, oldest clothes I can find...

            I don't try to establish my credibility... I don't really introduce myself, we don't do the round of 'feel good' warm-up stuff, we just get straight into the hard stuff...

            I do it to move people out of their comfort zone, to take them off balance and to get them to recognise their own limited perceptions and how they respond when things are presented in ways other than the 'norm' or 'the professional'....

            And at the end, I explain what I was doing and why I was doing it... and I ask them to notice their response... It's very eye-opening...

            How much do we each clutter and filter our perceptions about life and people based on how it/they 'appear' to us? Do I only have credibility if I present myself in a certain way?

            How do you judge a beggar on the street? Do you judge him as a 'loser' by his clothes, or can you see past that outward appearance and be open, listen to the wisdom of his experience/life journey?


I've seen the most 'professional' looking people do the most unkind things, and not be good at their jobs...


I've seen the poorest, most 'unattractive' people give and give of their love,  possessions, practicality, common sense and hard physical labour until you would think there was nothing left to give, and then they'd give some more...

I've read the most wonderful words in tattered, humbly bound and  plainly typeset books...


... and the most vapid claptrap in lavish, high quality production tomes...


You can't tell a book by its cover...





7 comments:

  1. This comment came from a 3D friend who also is a connection on Facebook friend... she tried to post it direct to the blog, but had problems (if anyone else has trouble, please let me know; my intention for this site was that it be interactive, not just a place for me to indulge myself with navel-gazing monologues!)...


    "Well, I tried to comment on your blog, but when I went to post it, I somehow messed it up! I will try and recreate it if I can!

    Hi! I am up late, not being able to sleep (grumble) and lurking facebook for things to read! I read your blogpost and had a thought..

    It sounds to me like your friend was trying to gently tell you her thoughts on your webpage, knowing that it is your income, and while it came off sounding a bit strong, I wanted to share what I thought about it.

    I have to admit.. I love fonts! I am a font whore! Not really for my emails and such, but for my artsy stuff.. I have paid even for unusual fonts that "speak" to me for one art project or another. (I guess I use a lot of words in my art.. funny!) Also, I am an incredibly visual person, I learn visually, I process information visually, I get a lot of joy just from looking at things, and how they strike me. Don't get me wrong, I like me some comic sans.. I use it too!

    After reading your blog post, I went to both of your sites, and while I didn't have the "OH my god, no she didn't! Horrors!" reaction- I did experience your words in a different way than I could have. In this day and age, of reading blurbs and summaries and generally rushing around, people do make fast impressions. Our brains are actually built that way, to categorize, to sort, to get impressions and connect it with the things we know to be "like that" or "not like that". From birth on, we see things and we make associations. Not always judge judy "Wow that's AWFUL" type of things but let's face it.. the internet has been around long enough that comic sans has kind of a pop culture connotation, not only of being a bit outdated and connected with kids, but also kind of.. generic.

    I see font usage as part of the communication process- it can be a powerful tool to create images, help you tell your story, kind of a double punch of communication. Marketing is so very visual! - and your work is so soulful, so unique, so deep, a different font might help people "feel" this energy.

    I hear you that you are doing it intentionally, but in this day and age of quick website hits, don't forget YOU are unique. Your work is profound, unusual, spiritual, and beautiful- I just wonder if comic sans is selling you a bit short.

    Wow, I can really ramble on, can't I?

    Sorry this wouldn't post on your blog, and it's not nearly as wonderful as it was the first time written, but I thought, since you are encouraging thoughts and kitchen table discussion, this font whore should speak up!

    Another thought: (shocker!)
    Those tattered books, as unassuming as they are.. they kind of "glow" don't they? We may pick up a book for our kids that looks a bit low key on the outside, to see if there is a gem inside.

    But if it has a big shiny disney character on it, we would both probably pass it over because we have learned that those disney books are mostly rubbish.

    We can't judge a book entirely by it's cover, but why not express what's in your book in a way that gives off the glow of what's inside?

    Love and more love and peace and I hope you really do like people to express themselves because I sure seem to like to at 1am!
    Hugs!
    J"

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  2. There's a Dutch saying which my mother used to use a lot, when faced with people who pretend to be better than they are and rely on appearances to assure themselves of a place in the world and to open doors for them...

    I can't remember how to spell the Dutch, so will just give the literal translation:

    On the surface - ribbons and lace, underneath - shit!

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  3. I know af few people who might fit that description. Of course, that is my own personal judgment and perception.... Nah, it is the truth!

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  4. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  5. sorry, am trying to put in a live link to what I am including in this comment...

    And I have to own my own hypocrisy and inconsistency here...

    I am not without sin... see:

    have you dated someone with the same name as your ex?

    attraction - what is it?

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  6. this was the message my facebook connection sent:

    "Sahila,

    Hello. I've grown to respect your opinion on many matters. That's why I just had to write immediately to save you from bad judgment. I just went to your site and was *alarmed* at your/your designer's choice of font. Comic Sans is for kids' birthday party invitations. That is its only appropriate use. (And I mean kids five and under.)

    There have been countless discussions on the internet and amongst friends all over the English-speaking world about this font. It makes the user seem completely out to lunch about THE WORLD. You will not be taken seriously. I actually went to your site, saw the font, then clicked off the site - within one second! That was my gut reaction - and I'm not alone in this response. My immediate thought was "This person is an idiot. Doesn't know enough to never use comis sans. I won't read a word because I'll never hire her."

    Then I realized that if I don't tell you this font sin you've committed, you won't know why you don't ever get any business. Please, I beg you to pull the site down until you've changed to a font that business people, and mature adults everywhere will recognize as a choice made by another mature, adult business person.

    You should default to Arial. It's clean, professional and very easy to read in both upper and lower cases. Calibri is great, Verdana, Garamond. You have chosen the worst possible font.

    I hate to say it, but this font seems to be used only by women over 50...and they suffer for it. Don't know what the appeal is. Honestly, doesn't look like little kid writing to you?

    Even if you disagree completely, change it. I'm offering you the best business advice (and it's so basic). People using comic sans is like wearing a stained, torn silky nightie to a funeral. It's THAT inappropriate.

    Round up some boys in their 20s and 30s and ask their opinion if you don't believe me. (Don't ask friends your age.) I'm just worried that you've already done way too much damage to your reputation. I'm willing to bet all I've got that anyone who has already seen your site will never hire you.

    Sometimes the obvious needs to be pointed out to us. We can all be oblivious. I'm sure I've done it, too.

    Best,
    S"...

    My reply this morning:
    "I do truly appreciate your feedback, S... and I have thought about it several times - the issue of the font, I mean; you're not the first to comment on it... and the part of me that still is tied to the wheel thinks I'm cutting off my nose to spite my face and I should just knuckle under and toe the party line... and the other part, that wants to be real and hates how phony the world is, can't do it... and yes, I am probably missing out on lots and lots of business... but not sure I could work with people who are that tied to making judgments based on appearances...

    I was fired from a Microsoft job once, cos a senior exec whom I never met, decided I didn't fit the "look" Microsoft wanted to project... this, despite the fact that I was very good at my job; I was scored/evaluated several times daily on my presentations by clients from all over the world (senior business and governmental people) and on a scale of 1-9, I was routinely getting 7s, 8s, and 9s...

    My immediate managers tried to change this man's mind, to no avail..."

    I can't ever please all the people all the time, so maybe I should just try to please (be true to) me....

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  7. Frankly, the commotion confuses me.... I have talked today with a couple of other people who confirm that this is the way this font is seen/perceived here...

    I don't think this is an issue in other countries...

    I haven't come across this attitude in Australia or in New Zealand, but then maybe I've been mixing in the wrong circles or just living with my head in the sand...

    I like/use it for the reasons already given, and because it is informal/casual/direct - I am into breaking down barriers, not creating them...

    For that reason also, I never use honorifics or titles when I am talking with people...

    We are all equal - none of us is more deserving of respect than the other...

    I ask permission to use a person's first name when we are first introduced and then off we go....

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