There's something to be said for Kitchen Table Wisdom - you know, like in the old days when people sat around the kitchen table after a meal and talked about life, the universe and the meaning of it all - as well as the gossip doing the rounds in town...

Well, that's what this place is - a place to share common wisdom, thoughts and feelings about things important and unimportant, that bring us joy, laughter and happiness and that trouble, sadden, confuse and anger us ...

What I write here is what's 'real' for me. It won't always be PC or 'nice'. We're missing out on true connection and chances to grow and change because there's too little authenticity, too little honesty, too much holding back what we really feel and mean.

Welcome to my world...

I used to have a copyright claim here, but I've removed it...

Ideas don't belong to anyone -

they come to those who are receptive and are to be used for the well being of all...

I find images and movies and music all over the web

and I use them to accent/expand on my thoughts and understandings...


If you feel you have experienced or received something of value in reading my posts,

please consider either:

Giving a Koha/Love Offering Here - Donate with WePay

or paying it forward to those who need

material and emotional/spiritual sustenance in this world...


Thank You


As You Think, So It Is - Your Beliefs Create Your Reality

If your Reality isn't Working for You, Create a New One!

Life Unlimited!


Namaste

(the Divine in me, recognises and honours the Divine in you)

Sahila




Wednesday, February 22, 2012

Just Say No!...


My grown kids worry about my homeless/moneyless situation;

They want to know why I just can't/won't play THE GAME...

Because THE GAME is toxic and kills...

My soul demands that I refuse to collaborate and enable THE GAME, and to do what I can to interrupt, if not end, it;


I bear witness to, and call out, its sociopathic cruelty - NOT IN MY NAME - and I pay a material price for that...

And the price we all pay for playing THE GAME is much higher than the loss of physical comfort and "security"...

In this case, just saying "NO", abstaining, is really the only strategy we have that will work in ending the madness...

 

Post Script:
I've had a lot of response to this post, particularly from older women who are in the same situation, walking the same revolutionary path;

We've turned our backs on security to push for change;

Our souls want/need to help heal the world, for all the other beings on the planet, and for our children and grandchildren... 

“The world will be saved by the Western woman.”
~Dalai Lama
Vancouver Peace Summit, 2009



9 comments:

  1. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

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  2. I am sorry Sarah - I cant let that stand.... if you want to have that conversation I am open to it, but not on this page....

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  3. I see...so this is not a forum for asking the tough questions after all, it is only where your perception is valid? Good to know.

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  4. I have already owned up to you and your sister and brother all of the mistakes I made in my role as your mother, in my marriage to your father, in not protecting you, in inflicting hurt - physical and emotional... I have offered my most sincere apologies numerous times... I have said that if I could turn the clock back and undo all of that, I would in a heartbeat.... I don't know what else to do to put it right - I can't put it right.... AND at the same time, I was not alone in all of that.... your father was a part of it, as were each of you...

    We all do what we know how to do...

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  5. I am over the domestic violence thing, it was just one observation in the whole comment. Interesting though, that that is what you have zeroed in on.

    I am surprised you don't want your readers to see the rest of my comment as those issues are actually what irritates me the most about your actions.

    Also, thanks heaps for respecting and listening to my comment about not publishing aspects of my private life, and that of the rest of my family. Yet again your need to exonerate yourself is the winner on the day.

    Your final remark...are you saying that children are responsible for the violence inflicted on them by their parents? That is indeed an interesting perspective.

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  6. You brought this discussion into this arena Sarah with your first posting... and this is my family too...

    It seems that it is time for us to go back and unwind our history together...

    I really would like to do that with you - I would rather that and hopefully come to healing and resolution, than be in the place my sister and our mother ended up in, or have this festering until I'm in my dotage...

    I am open to you saying to me whatever is your truth, and to listening to that, and accepting it...

    If you just need to say it and don't want any response, then that's OK...

    I have already tried to explain the background and my own space/actions/motivations in all of this, and unless you wish, I don't feel I have to reiterate it...

    If you want to do that here - OK...

    If you want to do it over Skype or some other medium, let me know...

    If you don't want to go there, that's OK too - just let me know ...

    I love you and your sister and brother...

    I miss you... as I told your sister, if I could wave a magic wand and be back in Australia, I would.... AND that's not a reality right now - I have to play out the hand I have been dealt here...

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  7. "....what we see when we look outside ourselves is a hallucination - it is only when we look inside ourselves...we truly see..."

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  8. "It seems that it is time for us to go back and unwind our history together."

    No. Again, you have not listened as you have been too busy pushing your perspective.

    I have written above, quite clearly, that my childhood...our family is not an issue for me.

    Listen to me Mother, please listen for once...

    What I said was, I object to your arrogance, the condescension you exhibit to think that no-one else has been "enlightened" like you have, that no-one else realises the things that are wrong or corrupt about the world and that no-one else thinks about better ways of being and living that would create real truth, light, equality etc.
    You say you won't get a job as that would mean "playing the game", yet you are happy to live of the profits of other people's "playing of the game", and happy to criticise one of your grown children when they told you they could not afford to give you money.
    I object to the publication on your blog of aspects of my private life without consultation.
    I object to your judgement of everybody elses' life choices and personalities and behaviours with little reflection of your own failings.

    You write that you are open to what I have to say yet you delete my words - even though they were not abusive, nor aggressive. You say this is a place to talk about issues that bring joy, laughter, and yes even anger and sadness, is this only on your terms?

    You said in this post that your grown children object to your actions. That is not true of me. That has never been true of me. I have always supported the paths you have chosen.

    And yet...you choose to attribute this attitude to me, and when I speak to set you straight you deny me the opportunity - because it will harm this image of yourself you have created on your blog. You have chosen to put your life in the public domain. Sure, you can dish it out... but can you accept any statements that are contrary to your view?

    If you choose to attribute thoughts and beliefs to me publicly, then do I not have a right to defend myself publicly?

    Undoubtedly you will need to have the last word here.

    So when I don't reply again, please don't think it is because I agree with what you say.

    I won't reply because I realise that trying to persuade you to accept that what I say has any validity will be an exercise in absolute futility.

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  9. I listened AND I did not hear what you were saying... it's not a case of "either/or" .... it is possible for people - me, you - to hear what the other person's words are, AND not to understand/feel the meaning in those words, especially when we are writing and there are no facial expressions, tones of voice, body language, gestures, no real time interaction....

    I am sorry that I misunderstood...

    The message I have HEARD/FELT from your brother and sister is that they do not approve of me and the path I have taken in this life...

    You are right - you have not shown any judgment about my choices AND I do think it is still true to say you are worried about my situation...

    I constantly examine my beliefs, choices, actions... I try (and fail sometimes) to be honest with myself as to my motivations...

    Do you think I don't get my own inconsistencies and what other people might label as hypocrisy?

    I've written about that to a degree in earlier posts: Am I..., for example, and this entire blog is me reflecting on this journey and unfolding - the gradual understanding of what my life has been and is now, and seeing and owning my own actions, choices etc in that...

    It is not my intention to offer this stuff to other people in an 'arrogant" manner, in a "look how great I am, this is the ONLY way to do life" way...

    It's about my journey, my process - which is only one of an infinite number of possibilities...

    One of my intentions - as was the intention behind that letter I wrote to you three about the history and patterns of domestic violence in my family- is to share what I have learned in the hope that it helps other people and they don't have to make the same "mistakes" I have... sometimes there's no need to reinvent the wheel... AND as indigenous people here say: "what you heal in this generation, heals seven generations into the past and seven generations into the future"...

    I don't claim any expertise - I'm feeling my way, finding out what's real for me as I go along... I share my experience/understanding as far as it's valid from a limited human perspective. People are free to take what feels right for them from that and to ignore the rest...

    In regards to your sister and the money issue - as I said to her... please, please, just be honest; don't say "I can't help, I have no money" and then go off on travels to Europe and South America. Travelling costs money, so there is money there... Don't lie to me... Just be honest about what choices/priorities are being made ... Just be honest if the real feeling is that personal needs/desires/plans need to honoured AND/ALSO there is a refusal to help because there is a judgment about where I'm at, how I got here and what I am/am not doing to move out of this space... Say "NO" if you must but don't lie to me in your efforts to justify the "no"... Lying to me hurts... truth might not be pleasant AND I'd prefer it from you all...

    As to not talking about my family and what's going on - did you ask me if it was OK with me to talk about your parents and your childhood experience in one of your stand-up comedy routines?

    I saw a video version of it.... It felt like a knife being twisted in my gut - both realising the pain your father and I caused you and the shame of having that spoken about publicly... AND .... what you talked about happened, and I had/take responsibility for it... AND .... you have a right to express whatever you need to/whatever is your truth about your life/story...

    If you want to continue/finish this dialogue in another arena, please let me know...

    I love you...

    Namaste

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