There's something to be said for Kitchen Table Wisdom - you know, like in the old days when people sat around the kitchen table after a meal and talked about life, the universe and the meaning of it all - as well as the gossip doing the rounds in town...

Well, that's what this place is - a place to share common wisdom, thoughts and feelings about things important and unimportant, that bring us joy, laughter and happiness and that trouble, sadden, confuse and anger us ...

What I write here is what's 'real' for me. It won't always be PC or 'nice'. We're missing out on true connection and chances to grow and change because there's too little authenticity, too little honesty, too much holding back what we really feel and mean.

Welcome to my world...

I used to have a copyright claim here, but I've removed it...

Ideas don't belong to anyone -

they come to those who are receptive and are to be used for the well being of all...

I find images and movies and music all over the web

and I use them to accent/expand on my thoughts and understandings...

If you feel you have experienced or received something of value in reading my posts,

please consider either:

Giving a Koha/Love Offering Here - Donate with WePay

or paying it forward to those who need

material and emotional/spiritual sustenance in this world...

Thank You

As You Think, So It Is - Your Beliefs Create Your Reality

If your Reality isn't Working for You, Create a New One!

Life Unlimited!


(the Divine in me, recognises and honours the Divine in you)


Saturday, July 3, 2010

Birthday Revelations: How to Step Out of the Toxic Dance

"There comes a time in life when you walk away from all the people who create pointless drama in your life and surround yourself with people who make you laugh so hard that you forget the bad and focus on the good.    Life is too short to be anything but happy."

Actually, I had the very same thought this morning as I was waking up...

There is a person who will be in my life for a long time (we were the portal/brought a child into the world together) and there is nothing but needless drama in my interactions with this person, drama initiated by his attitudes, choices and actions.

And for many reasons, some to do with my own "story" and some to do with what I thought I understood about our reasons for coming together and walking this path, I thought it was my job to hold the line, enforce boundaries...

And on a psychological level, its been about submission - he not willing to submit to a strong and abusive female, his mother, whom I represent in this dynamic.

And its been a complete energy drain for five years now...

For a long time, I have been asking my version of the Sacred for insight into how to step out of this dance.

And I woke up this morning (great birthday present!) with the determination to just "stop" engaging; put out there what needs to happen with no attachment to, expectation as to the outcome.

There is no win-win in this arena because the mother is dead.   I can't help this man with his woundedness; he's 56 and only he can decide when he's going to finally grow up and stop being a victim/martyr to his past, to his story.

In fighting me at every turn, in attempting to control me, in asserting/exerting his power abusively, he's fighting his mother, hoping one day that in conquering me, he'll conquer her.   The more I engage, the more I feed into and fuel his unfinished, unwinable battle.

So I remove myself, put out there only what really needs to be said/done and refuse to engage...

Let him respond however he chooses (not how I think/feel he ought to respond) and I'll just get on with it - live Life - regardless.

Its his journey, his consequence, his effect, his karma... Its the job of the Sacred now to find the balance... I step out!!!

Wow - what freedom... what a gift... what a way to end my 52nd and start my 53rd year of living!

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