Well, I've started several posts over the past 2.5 months and not completed any of them... they're still sitting in the "draft" queue and I don't know if they will ever appear, which is something of a shame because they've got great images and music and some almost profound(!) thoughts...
"When Gregor Samsa woke up one morning from unsettling dreams, he found himself changed in his bed into a monstrous vermin."
Kafka's masterpiece, The Metamorphosis, is the story of a young man who, transformed overnight into a giant insect, becomes an object of disgrace to his family, an outsider in his own home, a quintessentially alienated man.
Metamorphosis - a process of transformation, change from one state of being to another, which for me has defied clear articulation...
Not even sure I can now describe the process, or what the outcome is shaping up to be.... think I'm at the point where the butterfly has emerged, but its wings haven't yet dried enough to fly...
It was about cutting the final ties that bind me to the material world, as it manifests itself on this planet... casting myself adrift, deliberately, knowing there is no going back...
It was very intense and disorienting... a bit like the feelings I experienced when my parents died, one in 1994 and the other in 1995... Although I was an adult in my late 30s, with three children of my own, I felt I had been orphaned and left quite without any anchor/safe harbour in the world...
Some phrases that are relevant:
It was very intense and disorienting... a bit like the feelings I experienced when my parents died, one in 1994 and the other in 1995... Although I was an adult in my late 30s, with three children of my own, I felt I had been orphaned and left quite without any anchor/safe harbour in the world...
Some phrases that are relevant:
I no longer recognise or answer to any authority outside of myself...
We all are at war.... there is a war going on within each of us, and on the entire planet, between expansion and contraction, love and fear...
I had known that intellectually, but had not accepted it emotionally or spiritually - which was BIG and hard!
And it's time to pick a side.... not choosing is still picking a side... and I have picked a side...
I have no attachment to this society/culture we live in... it is dysfunctional to the core and I no longer resonate with it... I have to create a way to live outside it...
I will live my life as I see fit, according to my understanding of Divine harmony and balance, not man-made laws...
I know there are consequences that come with making that choice, and I accept them in full awareness...
Rejecting the status quo brings with it "push back", but I cannot live an authentic life without rejecting the status quo... and it will kill me to live inauthentically...
I have come to understand that all "awake and aware" people through all time have had to make that choice and live with/through what comes next... they've known full well what would follow making that choice, and have continued anyway - and that's what I have to do... AND I ACCEPT THAT... AND THE FEAR IS GONE... AND I FEEL SOLID...
...and now that I have that clear in my soul, heart and head, I expect my external world to change - AS ABOVE, SO BELOW, AS WITHIN, SO WITHOUT...
I wonder what it will look like...
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