I now know first hand how passive-aggressive Seattleites can be (apparently they are famous for it!)
My housemates are not very good at subtlety...
Sometime early December, I found a torn scrap of paper with a web address scrawled on it, on my desk blotter pad... the address turned out to be a website that would help you/me get your/my mess in order!
Sometime early December, I found a torn scrap of paper with a web address scrawled on it, on my desk blotter pad... the address turned out to be a website that would help you/me get your/my mess in order!
I got up this morning to find a bumper sticker placed on my desk.
It quotes the Dalai Lama - "My religion is kindness"...
Kindness has many faces - I guess they don't like the face I am wearing in this situation...
Responses from my Facebook friends:
TP: whoa! Passive aggressive much?
JT: Maybe they meant it regarding your kindnesses!
CF: since when is placing a lock box on a thermostat considered "kindness"?
TP: When my husband and I first lived together, we were living with another couple. And the wife would leave me notes all over the house. Thank Maude we got through that and now we're the best of friends, but srsly, passive-aggressive roommates are the WORST. You can't feel comfortable in your space because you're always wondering what p-a note they're going to leave behind next. Frustrating.
Sahila ChangeBringer: We agreed at the end of our row about the lockbox-thermostat issue that Connor and I would move out ASAP and that we would stay out of each others' way... I have been doing my best to do that - I avoid interaction, I clean up after ourselves and just ourselves, I mind my own business.... now the "I'm sick with cancer" card is being played... I empathise with my housemate - I know what that fear feels like though I didn't have to do chemo - and I have things I could share with her to help her on this journey... but there is no opening for that... and I am not going to enable her family in their denial nor am I going to take over some of their responsibilities in this... my responsibility is to Connor and to make the next step in our own path materialise.
Sahila ChangeBringer: @JT - no, they are not talking about my kindnesses!!!! They don't feel I am being kind enough...
TP: whoa! Passive aggressive much?
JT: Maybe they meant it regarding your kindnesses!
CF: since when is placing a lock box on a thermostat considered "kindness"?
TP: When my husband and I first lived together, we were living with another couple. And the wife would leave me notes all over the house. Thank Maude we got through that and now we're the best of friends, but srsly, passive-aggressive roommates are the WORST. You can't feel comfortable in your space because you're always wondering what p-a note they're going to leave behind next. Frustrating.
Sahila ChangeBringer: We agreed at the end of our row about the lockbox-thermostat issue that Connor and I would move out ASAP and that we would stay out of each others' way... I have been doing my best to do that - I avoid interaction, I clean up after ourselves and just ourselves, I mind my own business.... now the "I'm sick with cancer" card is being played... I empathise with my housemate - I know what that fear feels like though I didn't have to do chemo - and I have things I could share with her to help her on this journey... but there is no opening for that... and I am not going to enable her family in their denial nor am I going to take over some of their responsibilities in this... my responsibility is to Connor and to make the next step in our own path materialise.
Sahila ChangeBringer: @JT - no, they are not talking about my kindnesses!!!! They don't feel I am being kind enough...
I am kinda ashamed to say (no, not really ashamed!) that I put the bumper sticker back on my housemates' computer keyboard, but it now has some other words on it...
I reminded them that actions (lock boxes) speak louder than words and that perhaps people in glass houses ought not to throw stones... And I asked if disrespect = kindness?
We are being very childish, I think...
A couple more weeks and we will be out of here...
Yesterday I went to see the house we'll be looking after and met its owner...
Comfortable house, nice owner - a good transitional place that meets our needs while this hand of the game called life plays out...
I think Connor will have some adjusting to do in the new space - which will be hard for him and good for him at the same time - and I'm thinking how I can make that adjustment easier... will try to surround him with as much of what is important to him as possible...
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